One of the Bible verses I learned as a child is that from Isaiah 55:8 which says, "'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,' declares the Lord." Many times in my life I have asked, "How much longer must I wait, Lord?" Whenever I begin to question Him, this passage reminds me that God knows best and I need to wait for His perfect time.
Growing up, it was instilled upon me that in prayer, having faith means knowing that God is capable of giving me all of my heart's desires. But wait, there is the important element of trust! To surrender to the will of God means that even though I am telling Him what I want, I cannot prescribe how God must answer me; I have to let Him work wonders in my life and not demand that He must give-in to whatever I am asking from Him. As a daughter of the Almighty Father, I ought to have confidence in His goodness, wisdom and faithfulness. To trust God means I will let Him shape the answers to my prayers according to His love and mercy.
When our prayers do not get answered, the devil takes the opportunity to deceive us into believing that God has forgotten us and has left us to fend for ourselves. But as Christians, we know that to trust the Lord means we shall allow Him to give us what He knows is best for each of us, His children. God alone sees beyond what our eyes can see, He knows infinitely more than what our finite minds can grasp, and we have to humbly submit to Him and be rest assured that He shall only give what will most benefit our souls and our situations in life, according to His plans. But then again, whenever the crosses upon our shoulders seem to become too heavy to bear, we are all tempted to question God if He truly listens and loves us...
Just for the last week, I have been to four Advent recollections. Bringing to mind all the marvelous blessings God has bestowed upon me, I also remember all my prayers that God has not answered. In retrospect, all those unanswered supplications have been part of God's wonderful plan for my life.
I remember how, as a little girl, I wanted my entire family to move to the United States to be with my father who was working there at that time. It did not happen. Prior to college, I was offered a chance to study in the US, but that, too, did not materialize. I may only have inklings as to the real reasons why God did not allow me to go there back then, but I now see the many reasons why He preferred to delay the grace of migrating to a foreign land. Looking back at the way my life as a student had been, I realized that all my experiences in school have helped shape who I am today. One of the best blessings of spending the crucial formative years of my life here in the Philippines is growing in the Faith, thanks to my teachers and mentors in the Catholic schools I have attended.
I recall that time I had my heart badly broken and begged God to intervene that I may receive the love that I thought I deserved. I felt so shattered and unworthy of love. The Lord did not meddle in the affairs of my heart, and back then it seemed to me that He was not being a supportive Father. Fast forward to the present day, whenever I remember those crazy days, it has become an opportunity to laugh with God. I am so glad now that He did not answer my prayers then, because now I understand that He was just sparing me from more misery and tears.
I think of the many times I cried myself to sleep at night, wondering if God could hear my pleas. Reminiscing about those moments, I now know that in His denials, He makes sure to make His love palpable and evident so as to prevent me from falling into despair. All those tears have taught me to rely on His unconditional love for me. In every single "No" that He has given, He has taught me to depend on His generosity and providence. His unfailing Word promises me that He keeps track of all my sorrows; He collects all my tears and records each one in His book. (Psalm 56:8). He promises to one day wipe every tear from my eyes and there shall be no more mourning nor pain. (Revelation 21:4)
In my life, I have asked God countless things, and whenever He chooses to give me less, it is when I am assured that He loves me too much. For the things I still beg of Him, He instructs me to be patient, for only He shall choose to answer me in His own way and in His own time. He teaches my heart to rejoice and to feast on hope while I wait for the fulfillment of His promises to me. In suffering and in waiting, God transforms me to become a woman after His own heart, and He draws me into an even deeper relationship with Him.
In the past, whenever I feel burdened and at the brink of despair, I would question God "Why?". These days, when problems arise, I am now able to ask, "Lord, how can I find You in the midst of all these problems and pain?"
Often, God's gifts to us do not come in the kind of packaging that we expect. We find a rock, and discover that within is a precious diamond. The rain has to pour first, before God paints the sky with a rainbow.
Laura Story-Evington says it best in her song, Blessings: God's gifts come through rain drops, His healing comes through tears; a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know He is near. My greatest disappointments and the aching of this life is a revealing of a greater thirst this world can never ever satisfy. The trials, the tempests, the hardest nights, are God's mercies in disguise.
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| Photo credit: Maan Palma |
Growing up, it was instilled upon me that in prayer, having faith means knowing that God is capable of giving me all of my heart's desires. But wait, there is the important element of trust! To surrender to the will of God means that even though I am telling Him what I want, I cannot prescribe how God must answer me; I have to let Him work wonders in my life and not demand that He must give-in to whatever I am asking from Him. As a daughter of the Almighty Father, I ought to have confidence in His goodness, wisdom and faithfulness. To trust God means I will let Him shape the answers to my prayers according to His love and mercy.
When our prayers do not get answered, the devil takes the opportunity to deceive us into believing that God has forgotten us and has left us to fend for ourselves. But as Christians, we know that to trust the Lord means we shall allow Him to give us what He knows is best for each of us, His children. God alone sees beyond what our eyes can see, He knows infinitely more than what our finite minds can grasp, and we have to humbly submit to Him and be rest assured that He shall only give what will most benefit our souls and our situations in life, according to His plans. But then again, whenever the crosses upon our shoulders seem to become too heavy to bear, we are all tempted to question God if He truly listens and loves us...
Just for the last week, I have been to four Advent recollections. Bringing to mind all the marvelous blessings God has bestowed upon me, I also remember all my prayers that God has not answered. In retrospect, all those unanswered supplications have been part of God's wonderful plan for my life.
I remember how, as a little girl, I wanted my entire family to move to the United States to be with my father who was working there at that time. It did not happen. Prior to college, I was offered a chance to study in the US, but that, too, did not materialize. I may only have inklings as to the real reasons why God did not allow me to go there back then, but I now see the many reasons why He preferred to delay the grace of migrating to a foreign land. Looking back at the way my life as a student had been, I realized that all my experiences in school have helped shape who I am today. One of the best blessings of spending the crucial formative years of my life here in the Philippines is growing in the Faith, thanks to my teachers and mentors in the Catholic schools I have attended.
I recall that time I had my heart badly broken and begged God to intervene that I may receive the love that I thought I deserved. I felt so shattered and unworthy of love. The Lord did not meddle in the affairs of my heart, and back then it seemed to me that He was not being a supportive Father. Fast forward to the present day, whenever I remember those crazy days, it has become an opportunity to laugh with God. I am so glad now that He did not answer my prayers then, because now I understand that He was just sparing me from more misery and tears.
I think of the many times I cried myself to sleep at night, wondering if God could hear my pleas. Reminiscing about those moments, I now know that in His denials, He makes sure to make His love palpable and evident so as to prevent me from falling into despair. All those tears have taught me to rely on His unconditional love for me. In every single "No" that He has given, He has taught me to depend on His generosity and providence. His unfailing Word promises me that He keeps track of all my sorrows; He collects all my tears and records each one in His book. (Psalm 56:8). He promises to one day wipe every tear from my eyes and there shall be no more mourning nor pain. (Revelation 21:4)
In my life, I have asked God countless things, and whenever He chooses to give me less, it is when I am assured that He loves me too much. For the things I still beg of Him, He instructs me to be patient, for only He shall choose to answer me in His own way and in His own time. He teaches my heart to rejoice and to feast on hope while I wait for the fulfillment of His promises to me. In suffering and in waiting, God transforms me to become a woman after His own heart, and He draws me into an even deeper relationship with Him.
In the past, whenever I feel burdened and at the brink of despair, I would question God "Why?". These days, when problems arise, I am now able to ask, "Lord, how can I find You in the midst of all these problems and pain?"
Often, God's gifts to us do not come in the kind of packaging that we expect. We find a rock, and discover that within is a precious diamond. The rain has to pour first, before God paints the sky with a rainbow.
Laura Story-Evington says it best in her song, Blessings: God's gifts come through rain drops, His healing comes through tears; a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know He is near. My greatest disappointments and the aching of this life is a revealing of a greater thirst this world can never ever satisfy. The trials, the tempests, the hardest nights, are God's mercies in disguise.
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