"A
thousand times I've failed still Your mercy remains.
Should I stumble again, still I'm caught in Your grace..."
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| Photo Credit: Carla Arizala-Protesta |
This song has been playing on repeat in my head for days on end!
It's been playing like a broken record that I had to consciously sing another
song out loud in an attempt to change it, but it didn't really work. (I am not
a singer. I'm glad the earth has not opened and swallowed me yet!)
The over-thinker that I am, I decided to turn my thoughts to
prayer, and talked to the Blessed Virgin Mary about all these things on my
mind. (No matter what non-Catholics say about Her, I am confident that we can
never ever go wrong when we ask the Mother of Jesus our Lord for guidance!)
I arrived in church a few minutes early before the evening Mass,
and took in every precious moment to gaze upon Our Lady's resplendent beauty. I
blinked, and that song played in my head again. This time, the song stopped
right at the part that says, "should I stumble again..."
I prayed and reflected on the rest of the song...
I stumble all the time, yet His grace picks me up and allows me to
stand up again. Where my feet fail, God is always there to guide me. (I borrowed
that from another song!) I fall short miserably at many things, yet every
single time I run back to the Father, He forgives this daughter of His. No
questions; He just opens His arms and welcomes me into His loving embrace.
I closed my eyes and thought about the things that make me
stumble; when I did, I saw the sorrowful faces of Jesus and His Mother...
And I got to thinking... I stumble. All the time! But then, what
have I been doing to cause others to stumble and sin???
Have I been kinder today? Did I stop what I was doing to help
someone who had an urgent need? Have I been gentler with my words? Did I spend
longer hours to pray for those who need prayers the most? Am I generous
enough? Did I go the extra mile to help a friend? Do I love selflessly? Have I caused someone to
stray away from his/her own path?
I thought of Saint Peter ~ Jesus' devoted disciple, the rock upon which He
built His Church, and for a moment, His stumbling block too! (Matthew 16:18
and 16:23)
When I am stubborn, when I don't trust and obey, when my opinions matter most than what I know God would say ~ I am not just
impacting my own life and my purpose, but I am also definitely impacting the
Body of Christ! (Such a daunting reality!) I intend to fulfill God's purpose
for my life, but I must also consider that the choices I make affect the
collective purpose of God for all of us!
Am I a stepping stone for others? Or am I a stumbling block?
I prayed and asked for the grace to remain rooted in Christ to be
able to encourage others... to build others up in the faith... to help others
to do what is right according to God's will... to seek not only my own good,
but the good of others most of all. I asked Mother Mary to pray for me. Her fiat was an
example to trust and to draw closer to God, and to draw others to Christ her
Son. (She is after all our model par excellence, of total trust, pure love,
and service!)
I got back to the song, just before the Eucharistic celebration
started...
"Your will above all else, my purpose remains. The art of
losing myself in bringing You praise...
