WANTED: God-loving, God-fearing, Saint-Joseph-like, Pro-Life, Devout Catholic Bachelor

(Originally published in the CBCP Monitor  Vol. 18 No. 13, on June 23- July 06, 2014.)

The above title suddenly hit me and there was this strong yearning to post it somewhere. In the classified ads, perhaps? But nah, I am not that desperate! I won’t, even in my nightmares, do it. Besides, I believe in God’s perfect timing. I believe that my God is able to give me my heart’s desires in His time and in His way. I firmly believe, even when I am often being challenged by “concerned” people around me who insist that I hurry because my biological clock is ticking. But they are another story. So I reckon, why not just write about it, and after the final punctuation mark, I’ll go from there.

Then again, this is a plea that definitely bombards Heaven daily. My fervent plea. Oh my countless patron Saints will attest to this I am sure!

How many times have Saint Thérèse of Lisieux sent me roses in affirmation that God hears my prayers? I cannot even count anymore. On her feast day in 2011, I remember how Saint Anne “visited” me in Marytown1 and assured me that she and her Blessed daughter Mary pray for me all the time! In my dreams, Saint Justin has visited me and given me the “kiss of Truth”, instructing me what I must do now while I wait for God’s gift for me ~ him whom the lily blossoms for! Saint Francis often whispers to me, reminding me to love with all my soul. Saint Ignatius adds that I love without counting the cost! And I can imagine Padre Pio shaking his head with his sweet grandfatherly smile, reassuring me that that it is a done deal, and is already being taken care of by my King and Father, Almighty God Himself. Now that puts things in perspective!

I believe there are still a few good gentlemen out there. They may be a rare breed already, but I have hope in humanity; in the male specie for that matter. Call me too old-fashioned, but I know chivalry still exists even in this day and age where relativism and sin has become an acceptable way of life. God has created everyone innately beautiful and good. I have faith that there exists a wonderful man whom God has chosen specially just for me.

Before I continue on and start raising other people’s eyebrows, I’d like to be honest and admit that I am a miserable sinner myself who is in constant need of Jesus Christ my Redeemer. I am no saint definitely. Those who really know me inside and out know what I am capable of. Yes, even the bad things that I am capable of but choose not to do! There is always this strong desire all with God’s grace, that allows me to choose to be good, to strive to grow in virtues, and to eventually become a woman after God’s own heart. Oh the countless times I have failed God but His grace and love prevails! It really is always just a choice! I always challenge myself to live my name ~ God’s madonnina!

Friends and acquaintances would most probably describe me as religious. I do my very best to be a witness to my Catholic-CHRISTian Faith, but that does not mean I never fall short of God’s expectations of me. I know my sins. I am a sinner who is very much in need of His unfailing love and forgiveness. God draws me to Himself, and it has been my own daily “fiat” to surrender and run to Him in all the circumstances of my life.  I am far from perfect that is why I constantly need His infinite mercy. We all need to start somewhere. I choose every moment to follow Him Who is my Beginning and my End. I choose to take the baby steps and obey Him!

So why write about all these now? 

Someone very close to me is getting married. Amidst the preparations, a friend joked and said I should make sure to catch the bouquet. Another made a comment that now I am the only one left without a wedding band on my finger.

I have been constantly told that I have such high standards when it comes to a man~ that is why I am still unmarried. Oh how it stings every time I am told that I expect too much from men as if I am perfect! Who said I am Ms. Perfect? I never claimed to be one. But I believe that I can ask God for anything and be very specific about my prayer requests; and that includes helping me to become a woman pleasing to Him first and foremost, and giving me a husband who is a man after His own heart too.  

Why limit what I can ask God when He can give me anything that always surpasses my imagination and expectations?

I have met good men. I have met jerks. (Pardon my French.) The thing with the few good men I have met, they’re off limits. And with those jerks, I’d rather not go through why they are that bad, but they sure will break their parents’ hearts. Oooh if only I can borrow King David’s slingshot and give them a good hit on the head enough to make them turn into gentlemen! But there is hope I know. There is always hope. And on that note, I am certain that there is one for me out there who also knows my existence. He shall come tear down the walls of my tower when I least expect it. He shall do so, in God’s perfect time; because there is no escaping God’s will for us!

I have gone through discernment. I have checked out several religious congregations. I have gone to several soul-searching trips to figure out what God is calling me to do. I have tried to condition myself to the idea of living a monastic life. I was willing to go out of my comfort zone and serve the poorest of the poor. I was leaning towards being humbly garbed in a religious habit, living somewhere out there in a foreign land on a mission to set the world on fire for the glory of God’s kingdom. That did not happen. Yes, God called me to serve Him still; but as a lay person, and not as a religious. Not as a nun, as others would actually want me do, while jeering among themselves at the prospect that I am going to grow old alone and lonely in a distant convent and miss out on life. I have to mention that; because some people have such a distorted understanding of doing one’s vocation. They are another story too.   

I was reluctant at first to heed His call for me. I was pretty much content living my life exploring the world. But God had His way; and He made sure I got the message and follow through with what He wants for me. He is my Father and my King; and I am His daughter. God only wants what a daughter of a King rightfully deserves!

In retrospect, one of the things I am always very grateful to God about is not tying the knot early. I have had a proposal or two. Back then, I had these reasons I’d describe now as superficial. When I was younger, I told myself I’d only get married for the sake of love, have children, have my own family, and grow old with my husband in our loving home. I still have these reasons in mind for marriage, but then there’s more. Thank God that He made me realize and understand why He instituted the holy sacrament of matrimony!

My Almighty Father in Heaven has made it crystal clear to me: He has called me for married life. And it’s not just the kind of marriage for the sake of being able to tell relatives, friends and colleagues that I am the wife of Mr. Tech-Savvy-Able-To-Take-Care-of-Me-and-Our-Family, and the mother of our adorable twins. It is not enough that I am able to proudly say my status is finally Married and not Single.

God has called me for a mission: to reflect Holy Trinitarian love within my married and family life, to radiate “caritas” to the world for God's greater glory, and to share pure agape love with my husband the way that our Mother Church submissively surrenders to the love of Jesus Christ Her Bridegroom, and with the Holy Family of Nazareth as our Model.

Now that’s truly a tough act to follow! The gravity of this mission is easier said (or written) than done! It still overwhelms me, and scares me sometimes!

To quote the Catechism of the Catholic Church, "The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament." (CCC 1601)2

“The intimate community of life and love which constitutes the married state has been established by the Creator and endowed by him with its own proper laws. . . . God himself is the author of marriage." The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator…  "The well-being of the individual person and of both human and Christian society is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and family life.” God who created man out of love also calls him to love the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. For man is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love. Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. It is good, very good, in the Creator's eyes. And this love which God blesses is intended to be fruitful and to be realized in the common work of watching over creation: "And God blessed them, and God said to them: 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it.'" (CCC 1603, 1604)2

So what about the above-mentioned qualifications in the title of this article?

I pray for such a man because I need him to fully embrace married life in the same surrender to God and the same understanding that I have of the sanctity of matrimony. I need him to understand that our oneness shall require many sacrifices, and each other’s unconditional love willing to even lay our lives for each other and our future children. I need such a man who shall embrace the sacred mission of family life. I need a man who accepts with all his heart the importance of fighting the good fight together and ensuring that we, with the children God will bless our union with, shall all go to heaven. 

I want my future husband and I to raise future saints! Because I know my weaknesses, I need a strong, just man to journey with me in our family life. 

When then, will Mr. God-loving, God-fearing, Saint-Joseph-like, Pro-Life, Devout Catholic Bachelor finally come to sweep me off my feet? 

All in God's impeccable timing! 

While I pray and wait for him, I am going to do the things that the Lord wants me to do for Him.  With joyful anticipation shall I allow God to work in our lives and surprise us both. I am certain that our Eternal Father is preparing him for me, as God is preparing me for him, too. He is out there I am very sure.  And probably by sheer serendipity, he shall be reading this! 

Impossible? Everything is possible for one who believes! Jesus said it so Himself, “With man it is impossible. But will God all things are possible.” (St.Matthew 19:26)

Supplemental reading:

1 MARYTOWN
http://www.marytown.com/
2 THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY 
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c3a7.htm
SAINT JUSTIN MARTYR
http://www.catholicfaithandreason.org/st-justin-the-martyr-105-165-ad.html

Saint Joseph: Advocate Of The Family For Whom The Lily Blossomed

Today, the Universal Church celebrates the Solemnity of Saint Joseph, the husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and the Guardian of the Redeemer. 

We know Saint Joseph not only as the foster father of Jesus, but also as the epitome of a perfect husband, and as our "model worker". He is known to be a "tekton" ((τέκτων). The word has been traditionally translated into English as "carpenter", but is a rather general word (from the same root that gives us "technical" and "technology") that could cover makers of objects in various materials, even builders.²

We have never read anything in the Bible about Saint Joseph ever uttering even a single word. His silence tells a lot about his humility and total surrender to the will of God. We know him only through the Gospel accounts, particularly in Saint Matthew and Saint Luke.

Saint Joseph was instructed in his dreams, before and after the birth and early years of Jesus. We have heard of the story when he was told to take the Virgin Mary as his wife (Mt. 1:20-21); when he had to take his family and flee to Egypt during the massacre of the Holy Innocents (Mt 2:13); and when it was already safe to bring his family back to Israel (Mt 2:19). After the finding of Jesus at the temple, the Bible became silent about him. Tradition holds that during the years of Jesus' ministry, Mary was already a widow. We are all too familiar with the pictures and statues of Saint Joseph holding the Baby Jesus in his arms.

But have you ever wondered why Saint Joseph is holding a lily as well? The Lilium candidum, known also as the Madonna lily, is one of the symbols of our Lady. Song of Songs 2:1 says, "I am the Rose of Sharon, the lily of the valleys."

Saint Joseph holding a lily reminds us that his spouse was the spotless Virgin Mary. There is also an interesting story about how Saint Joseph was chosen as the spouse of the Mother of Christ.

When the Blessed Virgin Mary, who was serving in the Temple of the Lord, reached twelve years old, a council of the priests was held. The priests asked among themselves, "What then shall we do with her, lest perchance she defile the sanctuary of the Lord?" And they said to the high priest" "You stand by the altar of the Lord; go in, and pray concerning her; and whatever the Lord shall manifest unto you, that also we will do." And the high priest went in, taking the robe with the twelve bells into the holy of holies; and he prayed concerning her. And behold an angel of the Lord stood by him, saying unto him: "Zacharias, Zacharias, go out and assemble the widowers of the people, and let them bring each his rod; and to whomsoever the Lord show a sign, his wife shall she be." 

The heralds went out through the circuit of Judea, and the trumpet of the Lord sounded, and all ran. And Joseph, throwing away his axe, went out to meet them; and when they had assembled, they went away to the high priest, taking with them their rods. And he, taking the rods of all of them, entered into the temple, and prayed; and having ended his prayer, he took the rods and came out, and gave them to them: but there was no sign in them. Joseph took his rod last; and behold, a dove came out of the rod, and flew upon Joseph's head. (In another account, Saint Joseph's rod alone bursted into lilies, thus identifying him as Divinely chosen). The priest said to Joseph, "You have been chosen by lot to take into your keeping the virgin of the Lord." And so "Joseph did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took his wife". (Mt 124)²

In the Apostolic Exhortation "Redemptoris Custos" (Guardian of the Redeemer), Saint John Paul II said that "the Son of Mary is also Joseph's Son by virtue of the marriage bond that unites them. Joseph and Mary are the summit from which holiness spreads all over the earth. The Savior began the work of salvation by this virginal and holy union, wherein is manifested his all-powerful will to purify and sanctify the family ~ that sanctuary of love and cradle of life.” ³

Saint John Paul II "positions Saint Joseph as breaking the old vice of paternal familial domination, and suggests him as the model of a loving father. He stressed that the Church has implored the protection of Saint Joseph on the basis of 'that sacred bond of charity which united him to the Immaculate Virgin Mother of God,' and that the Church has commended to Joseph all of her cares, including those dangers which threaten the human family.” ³

Saint Joseph, with his example of simplicity, shows us the "mature way of serving and of taking part in the plan of salvation." His life teaches us that in our own lives, the obedience of Faith is necessary when we commit ourselves to the will of God. He could have really just sent the Virgin Mary away quietly. He could have said no to God, but he didn't. Instead, he dedicated his life for the protection of his wife and "his son" and ensured that they were well taken care of. His love and faithfulness to Jesus and Mary, and his generosity and dedication for the welfare of his family, is an example all husbands and fathers must desire to imitate. Although we know little about Saint Joseph, he has demonstrated how to live a life of faithfulness, patience, persistence, and hard work ~ admirable qualities which all Christians should adopt. 


In catechism, we learned that the family is the domestic church (Ecclesia domestica). Jesus, Mother Mary and Saint Joseph teaches us that we have to make a total gift of self, life and work for the good of the entire family; and to humbly serve each other in pure agape love. The love and unity of Mary and Joseph in their married life must be a reflection of  God's love for humanity; and the Love of Jesus for His bride the Church: a love that desires only the good of the other; a love willing to lay down one's life for the  beloved... 

The family ~ our families, must mirror Holy Trinitarian Love: the Father and the son united as One with the Spirit Who is Love. "The role of the family is specified by Love. It is the family's mission to guard, reveal and communicate love.” ³

Saint Joseph was declared to be the patron saint and protector of the Catholic Church by Pope Pius IX in 1870. Pope John XXIII added the name of Joseph to the Canon of the Mass. On May 01, 2013, the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments under the authority of Pope Francis added Saint Joseph's name to the main Eucharistic Prayers of the Mass.⁴

He is the patron saint of a number of cities, regions and countries, among them the Americas, Canada, China, Mexico, Korea, Austria, Belgium, Peru, Vietnam and the Philippines; as well as of families, fathers, expectant mothers, travelers, immigrants, house sellers and buyers, craftsmen, engineers, and working people in general. Having died in the "arms of Jesus and Mary" according to Catholic Tradition, he is considered the model of the pious believer who receives grace at the moment of death.

The 19 March Feast is a Solemnity (First class if using the Tridentine calendar), and is transferred to another date if impeded. (If 19March falls on a Sunday or in Holy Week, The feast of Saint Joseph as patron and model of workers is celebrated on May 01.)

Memorare of Saint Joseph:

Remember, most pure spouse of Mary, ever Virgin, my loving protector, Saint Joseph, that no one ever had recourse to your protection or asked for your aid without obtaining relief. Confiding, therefore, in your goodness, I come before you and humbly implore you. Despise not my petitions, foster-father of the Redeemer, but graciously receive them. Amen.

---------------------

For further reading, you can check out the following:

¹ Saint Joseph: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Joseph

² The Birth of Mary Mother of Jesus: http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/0847.htm)

³ REDEMPTORIS CUSTOS 
by Saint John Paul II on the Person & Mission of St. Joseph: http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_exhortations/documents/hf_jp-ii_exh_15081989_redemptoris-custos_en.html

⁴ Decree Regarding the Mention of Saint Joseph’s name in the Eucharistic Prayers:

http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/ccdds/documents/rc_con_ccdds_doc_20130501_san-giuseppe_en.html

        For Novena prayers to Saint Joseph:

       1.    http://www.ewtn.com/devotionals/novena/joseph.htm

       2.    http://stjoe4u2.tripod.com/id5.html

       3.    https://www.catholic.org/prayers/prayer.php?p=3167