Look Up, and Love!

I spent my Saturday once again in "my sanctuary",  at the National Shrine of Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary- La Naval de Manila. I usually sit in one of the pews right in front of the altar where Our Lady is. But today, I sat near the left corridor where I had a good view of all the stained glass windows and paintings that adorn this "church of my youth".

No matter how many times I have been there, I could not help but always look up, and marvel at each sacred art therein.

Today was one of those days... and somehow, it warmed my heart as rays of the midday sun shone through the stained-glass windows toward my face. It felt as if the light of God pierced right through me. I needed that badly. (I had to pray not to be distracted as I was actually there attending the Mass...) 

Lately, I sometimes feel that I am teetering at the brink of a crisis in faith... Ah, no problem about the Catholic doctrine and dogma that I hold to be true... It's just my humanity sometimes getting very much affected and morally scandalized by the bad behaviour of those who I expect to best live out the Gospel. When I find myself right at the verge of despair, I thank God that He always, always comes to the rescue!

I needed some reassurance today, because I just received news that a dear friend has breast cancer. Another close friend is going through her own tempests of suffering in her family life, and I feel helpless that I cannot do much to help her. And then, I have been chronically ill with asthma. 

In my terribly shattered heart, I could not help but question God why He is allowing so much suffering in the world... I wondered, why has that old lady been outside the church and is not being cared for by her family, and has been out there begging for alms? I asked why that young boy was alone sleeping under the afternoon sun on the overpass, and without a home, and probably even without a family?  I thought about young children, victims of violence, and witnesses of how their loved ones have been slaughtered right before their eyes. I felt pain in my heart just imagining the grief of fathers, mothers, and children whose family members have died in the battle against illegal drugs. Ah, the suffering all around me seemed endless... It was too excruciating that it overwhelmed me! Tempted to give up and leave everything  behind, I had to hold on to whatever little hope was left in me. 

So I looked up, stared, and found in my heart that sense of childlike awe.

Every chance I get to marvel at the little things that God has so thoughtfully and lovingly created,  I do make sure to savor each moment. In my life, I have learned to look for God in beauty ~ that beauty that leads me to the transcendent, and inspires me to love  Him  more; He who made all things wonderful.

So while looking up and admiring the sacred art at Santo Domingo, fully aware that the hands that created them were given artistic talents by God, I was reminded of what Saint Catherine of Siena said in her book The Dialogue: "The human heart is drawn by love." 

I am drawn by Him who is Love and Beauty Himself... He who created me in love. Thank God there is still beauty all around me that reminds me that He loves me tenderly; that He loves each of us unconditionally. I am sure that one day, when I behold God in heaven, all the beauty that I have seen and admired on earth shall pale in comparison to His glory. But I am thankful that I am given a glimpse of that eternal beauty right here, right now. I had to allow myself time and again to be drawn by His love. There is nowhere else I can actually run to, but to Him alone.

I looked up again. I looked up, and then focused my eyes toward the tabernacle, and I remembered Beauty that comes to me every day at Mass... I remembered how He comes to me in bread and wine,  and how, because of His love for man, the gifts of the earth become His very Body and Blood. 

And I came to my senses. 

Christ died in my place, in our place, in order that we may live. Difficult as it is to love my own crosses, I know there is no other way that I may be united in Jesus unless I bear by crosses and choose to triumph.  Oh yes, all is grace, but I must first wish it within myself to want so much to overcome, and to persevere. Life is made of many choices after all. I can always choose a different path, but God has been gracious and merciful, and thus I always muster the courage to be firm in the faith. 

God the Father, in The Dialogue, told Saint Catherine, "The soul cannot live without love. She always wants to love something because love is the stuff she is made of, and through love I created her." 

I know, I will still have to weather many storms in life. But thank God for the grace to see His Love manifest all around me. I only have to keep on looking up, and Love will always keep me close.

___________

Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary-La Naval de Manila, our dearest Mother, pray for us.
Holy Father Dominic de Guzman, and Saint Catherine of Siena, pray for me, and for all of us. Amen.

The Dominican Rosary

Although the rosary is said to have predated Saint Dominic, Tradition does hold that the founder of the Ordo Praedicatorum introduced the use of the Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary as "a balm for the wounds of his contemporaries." Moved by a vision of the Mother of God, Saint Dominic preached the used of the rosary in his missionary work among the Albigensians, who denied the mystery of Christ.

Read SUPREMI APOSTOLATUS OFFICIO, Pope Leo XIII's Encyclical on the Devotion of the Rosary.

The DOMINICAN ROSARY

Lent to Easter with the Saints

A few years ago, I spent Lent (up to Easter) outside the Philippines; it was spring that time. I realized that just as Mother Nature renews herself in springtime, so are we also called as Catholic-Christians to start afresh,  to call to mind the passion and death of Jesus, to renew our baptismal promises each year, and with God's grace do our best to live lives that are pleasing to Him. (I just learned that Lent is from the Anglo-Saxon word lencten, which means "spring.") During Lent, we are called to die to ourselves, to "suffer with Jesus and be buried with Him that we too may be resurrected." We are called to spend the 40 days in prayer, penance and true conversion. Lent culminates in Holy Week, and then in the triumph of Jesus over death on Resurrection Sunday.

My journey from Lent to Easter this year has been full of surprises, blessings, and even struggles. But I am grateful for the Communion of Saints who have prayed for me, and have inspired me to persevere.

Saint Bernadette Soubirous on Patient Endurance of Sufferings

In France, Saint Bernadette's feast is celebrated on February 18, which incidentally was Ash Wednesday this year. Being a few days after the feast of our Lady of Lourdes, I spent that first day of Lent rereading about our Lady's apparitions at the cave-grotto at Massabielle. My visits in Lourdes, France had been special and Faith-enriching, and I reflected on that. I also watched again the movie Song of Bernadette, and for several days after, pondered on Mother Mary's words to the young saint from that quaint town that lies in the foothills of the Pyrenees: "I promise you happiness not in this world, but in the other."

After the apparitions in Lourdes, Saint Marie Bernarde joined the Sisters of Charity in Nevers where as a nun she did humble and menial tasks in the convent, and worked as an assistant in an infirmary. She contracted tuberculosis of the bone, a pain said to be most excruciating, but which she bore with humility and total surrender, and which she offered to God as penance for sinners. She has willingly offered herself as a victim soul. I have been so inspired by her forbearance of suffering, and humility to carry one's cross with love and faith. 

Saint Paul tells the Romans, "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." (Romans 5:3-5)