Look Up, and Love!

I spent my Saturday once again in "my sanctuary",  at the National Shrine of Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary- La Naval de Manila. I usually sit in one of the pews right in front of the altar where Our Lady is. But today, I sat near the left corridor where I had a good view of all the stained glass windows and paintings that adorn this "church of my youth".

No matter how many times I have been there, I could not help but always look up, and marvel at each sacred art therein.

Today was one of those days... and somehow, it warmed my heart as rays of the midday sun shone through the stained-glass windows toward my face. It felt as if the light of God pierced right through me. I needed that badly. (I had to pray not to be distracted as I was actually there attending the Mass...) 

Lately, I sometimes feel that I am teetering at the brink of a crisis in faith... Ah, no problem about the Catholic doctrine and dogma that I hold to be true... It's just my humanity sometimes getting very much affected and morally scandalized by the bad behaviour of those who I expect to best live out the Gospel. When I find myself right at the verge of despair, I thank God that He always, always comes to the rescue!

I needed some reassurance today, because I just received news that a dear friend has breast cancer. Another close friend is going through her own tempests of suffering in her family life, and I feel helpless that I cannot do much to help her. And then, I have been chronically ill with asthma. 

In my terribly shattered heart, I could not help but question God why He is allowing so much suffering in the world... I wondered, why has that old lady been outside the church and is not being cared for by her family, and has been out there begging for alms? I asked why that young boy was alone sleeping under the afternoon sun on the overpass, and without a home, and probably even without a family?  I thought about young children, victims of violence, and witnesses of how their loved ones have been slaughtered right before their eyes. I felt pain in my heart just imagining the grief of fathers, mothers, and children whose family members have died in the battle against illegal drugs. Ah, the suffering all around me seemed endless... It was too excruciating that it overwhelmed me! Tempted to give up and leave everything  behind, I had to hold on to whatever little hope was left in me. 

So I looked up, stared, and found in my heart that sense of childlike awe.

Every chance I get to marvel at the little things that God has so thoughtfully and lovingly created,  I do make sure to savor each moment. In my life, I have learned to look for God in beauty ~ that beauty that leads me to the transcendent, and inspires me to love  Him  more; He who made all things wonderful.

So while looking up and admiring the sacred art at Santo Domingo, fully aware that the hands that created them were given artistic talents by God, I was reminded of what Saint Catherine of Siena said in her book The Dialogue: "The human heart is drawn by love." 

I am drawn by Him who is Love and Beauty Himself... He who created me in love. Thank God there is still beauty all around me that reminds me that He loves me tenderly; that He loves each of us unconditionally. I am sure that one day, when I behold God in heaven, all the beauty that I have seen and admired on earth shall pale in comparison to His glory. But I am thankful that I am given a glimpse of that eternal beauty right here, right now. I had to allow myself time and again to be drawn by His love. There is nowhere else I can actually run to, but to Him alone.

I looked up again. I looked up, and then focused my eyes toward the tabernacle, and I remembered Beauty that comes to me every day at Mass... I remembered how He comes to me in bread and wine,  and how, because of His love for man, the gifts of the earth become His very Body and Blood. 

And I came to my senses. 

Christ died in my place, in our place, in order that we may live. Difficult as it is to love my own crosses, I know there is no other way that I may be united in Jesus unless I bear by crosses and choose to triumph.  Oh yes, all is grace, but I must first wish it within myself to want so much to overcome, and to persevere. Life is made of many choices after all. I can always choose a different path, but God has been gracious and merciful, and thus I always muster the courage to be firm in the faith. 

God the Father, in The Dialogue, told Saint Catherine, "The soul cannot live without love. She always wants to love something because love is the stuff she is made of, and through love I created her." 

I know, I will still have to weather many storms in life. But thank God for the grace to see His Love manifest all around me. I only have to keep on looking up, and Love will always keep me close.

___________

Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary-La Naval de Manila, our dearest Mother, pray for us.
Holy Father Dominic de Guzman, and Saint Catherine of Siena, pray for me, and for all of us. Amen.

Be God's Lady

Today marks the end of the Flores de Mayo, the May festivities dedicated to the Queen of Heaven and Earth, the Blessed Virgin Mary. 

Last night our parish had its Santacruzan, a procession that depicts the finding of the Holy Cross in Jerusalem by Queen Helena of Constantinople (Reyna Elena) and Constantine the Great. I looked out for favorite "participants of the Sagala, like the Reyna del Cielo (Queen of Heaven), or Rosa Mistica (Mystical Rose), but did not find them. Nevertheless, I still enjoyed it, especially watching the little girls dressed as angels holding the letters of the angelic salutation, AVE MARIA! I have to admit, though, that I miss the more traditional ones that I used to watch at my parents' small provincial town in Quezon. There seems to be too much pageantry going on now, and less of the religio-historical aspect that I grew to love. But I won't write about that here.

Before Mass earlier, I found myself looking at a stained-glass window of the Annunciation. For an instant, I felt like being brought back to that moment when our Sweetest Lady said her Fiat to Archangel Gabriel. As I stared in awe, almost seeing the delicate incomparable beauty of our Lady in the flesh, I could only utter a silent prayer for the grace to also grow in the virtues that Mother Mary has attained so perfectly!

The Seraphic Virgin Saint Catherine of Siena

Lay Dominican Postulancy/ O.P. Notes

From a Polyptych of San Caterina (1488) by
Ludovico Brea | Dominican Church in Taggia

Saint Catherine of Siena, a Third Order Dominican mystic, scholastic, philosopher, and theologian, is known to have written straightforward, fiery, and fearless letters during her time that even popes and politicians were moved into action. She was instrumental in bringing the papacy from Avignon, France back to Rome. 

(I took note of a line from her letter to Pope Gregory XI: "Cursed be you, for time and power were entrusted to you and you did not use them!" -->  It is a reminder for me to make use of my time wisely, and whatever little power I have, for the common good.)

She has also been instrumental in my discernment, (for almost 3 years) and I did not even have a clue before as to who she was. Except that I clearly remember she's a Dominican Saint. (That journey with her ought to be written one of these days...) 

Who is Saint Catarina de Siena?

Saint Catherine by Agostino Carracci

Saint Catherine was born on the feast of the Annunciation in 1347, when Siena was ravaged by the Black Death. She is one of 25 children to her father Giacomo (Jacope) Benincasa,  a prosperous wool dyer, and mother Lapa Piagenti, a local poet's daughter. She had a twin sister, Giovanna who died in infancy.  The twins were born prematurely when their mother was forty. She was a merry child, and thus was nicknamed Euphrosyne by her family, which is Greek for "joy", and the name of an early Christian saint.

Her deep love for God was shown in her sweetness and patience towards others; people were drawn to her because of her charm and wisdom. She was known to practice a rigorous asceticism and austerity, scourging herself three times a day with an iron chain, eating and sleeping very little, and sleeping on a board. She had mystical visions, often enraptured in them, but also tormented by temptations and severe trials. In humble obedience, she embraced a life of poverty, chastity, and holiness, and total devotion to God.

As a tertiary Dominican, she volunteered to nurse the most incurable in hospitals, she took care of the poor, counseled and visited those in prison, even buried the dead with her own hands, and all these while also teaching her followers, giving them the fruits of her contemplation.

Saint Catherine is the patroness against fire, bodily ills, fire prevention, miscarriages, people ridiculed for their piety, sexual temptations, sick people, and nurses. She is also the patroness of Siena, of Italy, and of Europe.

A Mystical Saint
Saint Catherine began to have mystical experiences when she was six years old. Her first vision was of Jesus seated in glory, along with Saints Peter, Paul, and John. At age seven, she made a promise of virginity. Her mother, who wanted her for marriage, urged her to pay more attention to her appearance. She instead cut-off her beautiful golden-brown hair, to make her point clear that she belonged to God and to Him alone.

The Mystical Marriage of Saint Catherine of Siena
by Alessandro Franchi and Gaetano Marinello, 1896

In 1366, on Shrove Tuesday, she had a vision of Christ, Mother Mary, and the heavenly host. In it, the Blessed Mother held her hand up to Jesus, Who placed a precious nuptial ring upon it and espoused her to Himself. This ring was said to have always been visible to Saint Catherine, but invisible to others. She described this vision in her letters as her Mystical Marriage with Jesus Christ.

According to Blessed Raymond of Capua, her confessor, she told him that Jesus appeared to her "holding in His holy hands a human heart, bright red and shining." The Lord opened her side and put the heart within her saying: "Dearest daughter, as I took your heart away from you the other day, now, you see, I am giving you mine, so that you can go on living with it forever."  

Saint Catherine receives the stigmata.
Painting by Rutilio Manetti.

In February of 1375, while in Pisa, Saint Catherine had one of many of her mystical experiences. She had just received Holy Communion, and while gazing at a crucifix, she received the five wounds of Jesus in her hands, feet and heart.  

"I saw our Lord fastened upon the cross coming down towards me, and surrounding me with a marvelous light... Then there came down from the holes of His blessed wounds five bloody beams, which were directed towards the same parts of my body: to my hands, feet, and heart." This was how she received the stigmata. It was visible at first to her and to everyone around her, but in great humility she prayed that they might be invisible, and she got what she prayed for. The wounds were clearly seen only after her death.


A Fiery, Spontaneous and Fearless Saint

Saint Catherine writing
by Rutilio di Lorenzo Manetti

Saint Catherine lived at a time when there was great disturbance and confusion. Italy in the 14th century was made desolate by the plague. There was schism in the Church, and political turmoils. Yet in all of these, she rose above the troubles of her own time; her strong will, amazing intellect and charm enabling her to restore peace between nations and health to our decaying church. True to her Dominican charism, she praised God in her works, she blessed others by being an example of what it was like to be an unsung hero in the Master's vineyard, and she preached the Truth and detested the wickedness and corruption of those who sought only self-interest. The truth in her heart was expressed in her words and actions. 

She was highly respected, and was also known as a peacemaker. She helped settle various family quarrels, helped reconcile even the worst enemies, and she aided in establishing peace among the Italian city states during her time. 

Saint Catherine was in correspondence with men and women from all walks of life ~ family, friends, disciples, royalty, public officials, bishops, cardinals, and even popes! Her letters, though assertive and confrontational, were concerned on the eternal dimension of those people's affairs.  (Read excerpts of her letters here.)

The most notable of all these letters was the one for Pope Gregory XI. Her stirring words urged the pope to "fulfill what he had promised", reminding him of a vow he had once taken and had never disclosed to anyone. Pope Gregory XI regarded it as a sign from heaven, and so acted at once. He was the 7th and last Avignon Pope, and his return to Rome on 13 September, 1376 ended the Avignon Papacy (1309 to 1377).  

From an Illiterate to a Doctor of the Church

Saint Catherine's mystic Communion
by Francesco Brizzi,
San Domenico Basilica, Bologna

Saint Catherine was said to have been illiterate for most of her life, and learned only to read and write as an adult; but she left for the Church one of the great literary works in our Catholic tradition: The Dialogue. It is a spiritual testament about God the Father's private revelations to the saint; it is a conversation between God and the soul. The Dialogue was was written by her own hands, to her secretaries while she was in a state of ecstasy. It talks about four things, which Saint Catherine called four treatises: Divine Providence, Discretion, Prayer, and Obedience. 

Here are some quotations from the Dialogue: 

"My providence will never fail you, and every man, if he be humble, shall receive that which he is fit to receive; and every minister, that which I have given him to administer, each in his own way, according to what he has received and will receive from My goodness."

"Discretion is the only child of self-knowledge, and, wedding with charity, has indeed many other descendants, as a tree which has many branches; but that which gives life to the tree, to its branches, and its root, is the ground of humility, in which it is planted, which humility is the foster-mother and nurse of charity, by whose means this tree remains in the perpetual calm of discretion." 

"Echange des Coeurs" (Exchange of Hearts)
by Ventura Salimbeni

"Wherefore, first I gave you the Bridge of My Son living and conversing in very deed amongst men, and when He, the living Bridge, left you, there remained the Bridge and the road of His doctrine, as has been said, His doctrine being joined with My power and with His wisdom, and with the clemency of the Holy Spirit. This power of Mine gives the virtue of fortitude to whoever follows this road, wisdom gives him light, so that, in this road, he may recognize the truth, and the Holy Spirit gives him love, which consumes and takes away all sensitive love out of the soul, leaving there only the love of virtue. Thus, in both ways, both actually and through His doctrine, He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life; that is, the Bridge which leads you to the height of Heaven."

"Wherefore charity, the mother of patience, has given her as a sister to obedience, and so closely united them together that one cannot be lost without the other. Either you have them both or you have neither. This virtue has a nurse who feeds her, that is, true humility; therefore a soul is obedience in proportion to her humility, and humble in proportion to her obedience. This humility is the foster-mother and nurse of charity, and with the same milk she feeds the virtue of obedience."

Death of the Seraphic Virgin
(As told in a letter to Sr. Catherine Petriboni, written by Ser Barduccio di Piero Canigiani, one of Saint Catherine's disciples)

"Her transit occurred on the Sunday at the hour of Sext, but we kept her unburied until the hour of Compline of Tuesday, without any odor being perceptible, her body remaining so pure, intact, and fragrant that her arms, her neck and her legs remained as flexible as if she were still alive. During those three days the body was visited by crowds of people, and lucky he thought himself who was able to touch it. Almighty God also worked many miracles in that time, which in my hurry I omit. Her tomb is visited devoutly by the faithful, like those of the other holy bodies which are in Rome, and Almighty God is granting many graces in the name of His blessed spouse, and I doubt not that there will be many more, and we are made great by hearing of them. I say no more..."

Death of Saint Catherine of Siena by Sevillian School

Having suffered a stroke, Saint Catherine died in Rome on 29th April 1380, at the age of thirty-three. Her body was buried in the Roman cemetery of Santa Maria sopra Minerva, near the Pantheon. But Blessed Raymond of Capua moved her inside the Basilica where she lies to this day. Her incorruptible head and finger however were entombed in the Basilica of San Domenico in Siena, where they remain.

On 29th June, 1461, Sienese Pope Pius II canonized her. She was named a Doctor of the Church by Pope Paul VI on 3rd October, 1970. She was declared co-patroness of Rome by Pope Pius IX on 13th April 1866. She was also named by Pope Pius XII as joint patron saint of Italy alongside Saint Francis of Assisi, on 18th June 1939. 

On 1st October, 1999, then Pope and now Saint John Paul II made her one of Europe's patron saints, along with Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, OCD (Edith Stein), and Saint Bridget of Sweden.  

Saint Catherine of Siena, Patroness of Europe
by Michele de Meo
Chapel of St. James, Sta.Maria sopra Minerva

A prayer by Saint Catherine of Siena: Thanks, thanks be to You, Eternal Father, that You have not despised me, Your handiwork, nor turned Your face from me, nor made light of these desires of mine. You, Light, have disregarded my darksomeness; You, Life, have not considered that I am death; nor You, Doctor, considered these grave weaknesses of mine. You, eternal Purity, have disregarded my wretched filthiness; You who are infinite have overlooked that fact that I am finite; and You, Wisdom, the fact that I am foolishness. For all these and so many other endless evils and sins of mine, Your wisdom, Your kindness, Your mercy, Your infinite goodness have not despised me. No, in Your light You have given me light. In Your wisdome I have come to know the Truth; in Your mercy I have found Your charity and affection for my neighbors. What has compelled you? Not my virtues, but only Your charity. Thanks be to You. Amen.

Sources: 
a. Notes from Lay O.P. Postulancy Lectures
b. 8 Things to Know and Share about Saint Catherine of Siena 
c. Saint Catherine of Siena, EWTN Library
d. The Dialogue of Saint Catherine of Siena, Saint Benedict Press Classics, 2008
e. Paintings depicting Saint Catherine