Eyes and Hearts Cleansed by Tears

Part 3 of My Reflections About My Tacloban Trip

Of all the events during the Holy Father's apostolic and state visit to the Philippines, the Holy Mass in Tacloban officiated by Pope Francis was the most moving for me. It was amazing how, even while he was delivering his homily in Spanish, his heart spoke to the hearts of all of us gathered there. The translation of course was a big help. But his words were not meant to be understood by the intellect, but of the heart.

The Catholic Faithful undeterred by the strong winds and rain.
The Faith of the Filipino people is storm-proof!

I suppose that the human mind and heart can only stand so much grief and anguish, and once we reach that limitation, the tears are necessary to help us come to terms with our losses and struggles. It takes a strong person to express one's overwhelming sorrow in tears. It takes courage to declare our unspeakable love through tears to a beloved who refuses to accept us. It takes dauntlessness to be able to cry and have our tears wash away our blindness.

The men and women present there at the papal Mass were people full of courage, faith, and hope. They were unafraid to cry and to show the world that they are still in deep pain. In showing their vulnerability, I saw very clearly that they draw their strength from and dependence on Jesus who suffers with each of us. I was a witness to their  resolutely fearless disposition, deeply rooted in their unwavering faith in God. 

I have my own battle wounds, and though some have healed, the scars remain to remind me of its lessons. Although I had my own reasons to cry before the Lord, at that moment I allowed myself to weep for my brothers and sisters all gathered there. 


Healing Tears

In a Mass held in Casa Santa Marta in 2013, Pope Francis said that, "All of us have felt joy, sadness and sorrow in our lives, but have we wept during the darkest moment? Have we had that gift of tears that prepare the eyes to look, to see the Lord? We, too, can ask the Lord for the gift of tears. It is a beautiful grace... to weep praying for everything: for what is good, for our sins, for graces, for joy itself... Weeping prepares us to see Jesus."

People moved to tears.
Photo credit: http://scjphil.org/ 

I can only imagine the pain every single person present in that papal Mass in Tacloban was carrying in his/her heart. And what great consolation it was to have the pontiff in our midst. Indeed tears help wash away whatever "dirt" we have in our eyes: our indifference, our biases, our disillusionment, all our frustrations, our fears, even our sins. "Sometimes in our lives, tears are the lenses we need to see Jesus", Pope Francis said in one of his homilies.

In my own experience, reaching the place of tears is like being set free from something that stifles and/or imprisons me. Crying helps me cope with emotional and physical suffering, helps relieve me of grief and pain, and seems to always contribute to my healing.


Becoming Wounded-Healers

As a Christian, I know for a fact that there is the joy of the resurrection after suffering and death. That is why I know that as long as I am alive, I will have to go through my Gethsemanes, carry my crosses on Calvary, and finally arrive at that glorious resurrection promised by Jesus.

In Gethsemane, we wrestle with our own will and with God's will. We struggle, we ponder, we weep, we pray, we even question God. But it is with His grace alone, not by our own might, that we are able to surrender to Him without counting the cost. It is with His mercy that we are able to abandon ourselves to Him. When we obey His perfect will, we are able to behold the intensity of His struggles, share in His sufferings, and realize the depths of His love. On Calvary, we carry our crosses, we fall, we rise again, we are stripped of our perceived securities, we are mocked, abandoned, and die to ourselves. At the resurrection, we are redeemed, made whole again, and become able to see clearly and deeply the value of our sufferings, and our very existence. We are drawn closer and deeper in Love of Him. 

A man crying during the pope's homily.
Screen-captured from a video by CTV-Vatican

Even the saints spoke of having "dark nights". But in darkness, we are purified, and we learn to trust God more. We realize that devastation can bring about hope and renewal. We get the reassurance that God will never leave us alone.

Pope Francis, in humbly saying that he did not have the perfect words of comfort for the survivors of typhoon Haiyan, pointed us to Jesus. In a world now too caught up in advancements in technology, in instant gratification, and doing things "our way", the Holy Father challenges us to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of Faith. He reminded us that Jesus knows exactly what we are going through, for He also lost loved ones to death. He was also betrayed and abandoned by His friends and family. He knew loneliness and ridicule, for He endured all that while He hung on that cross. "Let us look to Christ", the pope said. "He is Lord. He understands because He underwent all the trials that we, or you, have experienced."

"Certain realities in life we only see through eyes that are cleansed with tears", Pope Francis told the youth who were at the encounter at the Royal and Pontifical University of Santo Tomas the next day. Speaking for myself, seeing Pope Francis up close was like seeing Jesus in the flesh. He is after all Christ's Vicar here on earth. Yes, I saw Jesus. Through the Holy Spirit's gift of tears, I have seen God in my heart. 

By Jesus' wounds, we have been healed. And by His example, we are called to be wounded healers ourselves to a world so immersed in injustice, oppression, and pain. We are able to journey with others in their sufferings because we are also wounded and in need of healing. We are able to become truly merciful and compassionate with others because God has shown us His infinite mercy and compassion. We are able to overcome our weaknesses, and are healed of our wounds, because of God's love; for His only begotten Son shares in our suffering. In John 16:33, Jesus assures us, "...in Me you have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." 


Carpe diem. Savoring the Faith. 

I made a list of what I must do while in Tacloban : where to go, who to interview, questions I can ask the people, places I need to take pictures of, among other things, I had plans mapped in my head. But ever since I left the corporate world and decided to dedicate my full time to pastoral work in the service of Holy Mother Church, I have learned, often serendipitously, to let God work things out for the good of all those who love Him; and especially in my life. I admittedly enjoy the way He always surprises me with His better plans and His blessings, and I look forward to more! 

I truly am blessed to have been there in Leyte to witness the way Pope Francis and the survivors of Yolanda were moved by each other's presence and declaration of solidarity and love. And I cannot help but think that perhaps, that was how Jesus had been every single time He was with the least,the lost, the last,  the most deeply wounded, the poorest of the poor. 

In Tacloban that fateful and memorable Saturday, I chose to seize the day and savor the moment of seeing the Vicar of Christ up close. Not to downplay the other events in Manila, but in my own opinion, if I am to compare the way he smiled and waved to everyone during his visit, I think he seemed happier being with the survivors of typhoon Yolanda. Ultimately, my whole experience in Leyte was not just seeing Pope Francis, but hearing Jesus' words, seeing the Lord, and feeling God's love and mercy through our Holy Father. 

I have seen the two other popes, and attended Masses celebrated by Saint John Paul II and Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, and they have all left a lasting impact on me. The Mass in Leyte with Pope Francis, I am sure, will also leave a indelible mark on my heart, soul and entire being. And I only have God to thank and glorify for this very humbling blessing He has bestowed upon me. 

Ad majorem Dei gloriam!