After Abortion: Responding with Compassion

"Human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of conception. From the first moment of his existence, a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person ~among which is the inviolable right of every innocent being to life." (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2270)

I am Pro-Life to the core! (I have shared my story in this previous article.) I am thankful for my life and am grateful that I was valued for my personhood and was not taken as a mere clump of tissue. Life is a gift from God Almighty and I cherish this gift to be alive. 

At any given time, when faced with a person who is pro-choice or is considering termination of the life in her womb, I would do my very best to convince her there are other options and that choosing life is the best way to go. But what do you do when someone comes to you and confides that she has already aborted her almost full-term baby? 

Listen with an open heart. For the first few moments after hearing such a confession, I remember being confounded and at a loss for words. I sensed the mother's reluctance to tell me the truth, and the desperation to be freed of the guilt and the pain. While I allowed her to talk, deep inside I was asking myself, How do I reach out to this woman with love? Where do I start? What do I say first?

I realized that the most loving act I could do was to listen. The wounds caused by abortion are imprinted in the soul, and allowing the mother to talk about her grief was a step towards healing. She believed that no one would understand her pain and shame, and admitted to being assaulted by self-condemnation. She struggled with thoughts of burning in hell for her sin. She knew my stance against abortion, and hesitated to share her story with me; but she banked on our friendship. I felt so shattered knowing what happened to her son, but I valued her trust. 

Judge not. I have stopped trying to grasp the weight of her desperate circumstances that led to her decision. I had no power to bring the baby back. (I couldn't help but think that the baby would have been my godson!) I have heard many stories and reasons why women choose abortion. There is fear and/or coercion. Most are due to emotional and physical abandonment by the baby's father. There is the financial difficulty, or (as what I have often heard), the extreme fear of being disowned by parents once the pregnancy is discovered. Initially, I partly blamed myself for not knowing that my friend was silently crying out for help. I was tempted to sulk at my sin of omission, but it was not the time for that. She needed help and I knew that God wanted me to be an instrument of His love. With a prayer in my heart, I did what I knew best: be her friend. I assured her that although she gave in to absolute despair before, there is a way out of the darkness. I made her feel that God loves her so much in spite of herself. I told her that God's mercy is boundless and only His love will bring back joy into her life.

Acknowledge the pain.  As I fought back my own tears, I allowed her to grieve and assured her that only God can help her from getting deeper into despair. I literally let her cry on my shoulder. I knew somehow she did not feel alone anymore. I did my very best to make her understand that there is hope and relief from her pain. I had to  convince her that God's wrath won't be upon her, especially because of her deep remorse for her wrong choice, and her willingness to ask the Lord's forgiveness.  It was vital to make her feel that I support her, that I care for her, that I'd be with her through her ordeal. Where I fall short as a friend, I told her she can depend on God as the One who'd never let her down.

Be loving. Once trust was established, she completely opened up. I resolved to express my silent, unspoken love as she related all her concerns to me. Charity and understanding was what she needed, and that I gave to her. Soon she expressed that she had to maturely deal with the repercussions of her choice. When words were no longer enough, a warm embrace sufficed. I knew those hugs were therapeutic!

Emphasize that Confession is life changing. The one thing I encouraged my friend to do was that she go to Confession. My friend told me she used to think abortion not only killed her baby, but it also destroyed her life. She thought it was an unforgivable sin that she could never approach God. I told her the Sacrament of Reconciliation was a means to connect with God, have a clean slate and start all over again. I did my best to point out that through this sacrament of God's mercy, a great deal of her burdens shall be lifted off of her shoulders and she shall have  peace of mind. I told her she only had to pray for the grace to be able to humbly approach Him whose love for her is infinite. I assured her that reconciling with God will bring about the change she so desired. In His immeasurable Divine Mercy and compassion, God shall tread all our iniquities under foot and shall cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. (Micah 7:19)

Live love. Love life. A few days after, she happily told me she has gone to confession and felt so much closer to God. Fast forward to a few years, she got married, and one day I received an invitation that I shall be the godmother of her healthy, gorgeous baby boy. She said she felt she was truly forgiven of her sins when she learned she was going to have another child. This time, of course, she chose life. God has blessed her and her husband with two wonderful boys!

God's healing grace and forgiveness is endless, we only have to approach Him. No matter how grave our sins are, He is always just waiting with open arms for our return. His unconditional love and generosity can never be outdone!

Befriend the Angel of Death

I ran across the Grim Reaper today on my way to work. You'd think it would have evoked fear, but on the contrary, I found him cute.

It's that time of year again for trick-or-treating. This practice is customary in North America and some other countries like Great Britain and Ireland. In the Philippines, this has been gradually replacing Pangangaluwa, a local version of the old English custom souling. 

Heinrich Fussli's Sleep and Death
Carrying Awa6y Sarpedon of Lycia, 1803

But this blog is not about the practice of dressing up in costumes and begging door to door for candies and treats. (My nephew calls it candy walk.) When I saw that little boy dressed as Death, I wondered if we actually do think about it in the right perspective. The Christian perspective at that. 

A friend of mine recently died. I had the same sentiment as anyone would have ~ it was still too early; he was still young and at the prime of his life. The cause of his death was not due to an accident or any medical condition; but no one could stop his unexpected demise. I quote Job in saying, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord."


In many cultures, Death is allegorically portrayed as someone NOT purely evil. In Greek mythology, it is portrayed as Thatanos, the twin brother of the god of sleep, Hypnos. In the Jewish tradition, it is an Angel of Death full of eyes who stands at the head of the dying person with a drawn sword. In English folklore, it has been personified as a skeletal figure dressed in a hooded black cloak and is carrying a scythe.  Even the Bible talks about the Angel of Life and Death, the "destroyer", who passed over the door of  the Israelites marked with the blood of the Passover lamb. 

Saint Michael
the Archangel

I have not heard of a Christian allegory for death. But when I think about the angel of death, what comes to mind is Saint Michael the Archangel; he who carries the souls of the deceased to heaven.

I learned from catechism that he is the angel who cried out "Quis ut Deus? (Latin for Who is like God?) when he smote the rebel Lucifer who in his pride desired to be God. In the Book of Revelation, Saint Michael leads God's armies against Satan and his cohorts. His primary role is chief and commander of the heavenly hosts who vanquished the devil, and as leader of the Army of God will achieve victory at the battle of Armageddon. (To know more about the victory of Saint Mi Cha El and the fall of Lucifer, watch this video Lucifer vs. St Michael: Why St Michael Won!) 

The Roman Catholic tradition holds him as the the protector and Guardian of the Church. He is the guardian angel of the Bishop of Rome, and the angel of the Blessed Sacrament.

Saint Michael, as the Christian angel of death, is the defender of souls. He is traditionally presumed to be present at a person's deathbed; he descends and gives each soul the chance to redeem itself before passing. He is charged not just to assist the dying, but also to accompany souls to bring them to purgatory, and afterwards present them to God. He weighs souls in his perfectly balanced scales on Judgement day, based on their deeds while living on earth. In the painting of the Last Judgement on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo depicted Saint Michael as reading the souls to be saved from the small book he held.

Archangel Michael saving souls from
Purgatory by Jacopo Vignali

In Saint Michael the Archangel, we have an angelic model for the virtues of a spiritual warrior. He exemplifies the victory of good over evil. As the Church Militant, we have to work out our salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), and pray for the grace to have forbearance and fortitude to become triumphant in the battle within ourselves. 

At the Mass held in Casa Santa Matha on October 30, 2014, Pope Francis said that "Life is a military endeavor. Christian life is a battle, a beautiful battle, because when God emerges victorious in every step of our life, this gives us joy, a great happiness."

Pope Francis also said that the devil is more than an idea. "In this generation, like so many others, people have been led to believe that the devil is a myth, a figure, an idea, the idea of evil. But the devil exists and we must fight against him."

There may be people who do not believe in a spiritual combat, let alone in the existence of angels and demons. But I always remember one homily given by the Exorcist of the Diocese of Cubao, Fr. Jojo Zerrudo, who said that the spiritual warfare for our souls between angels and demons is real ~ the celestial beings want to win souls for heaven, while the devils will exhaust all means to drag souls to hell for eternal damnation. 

Saint Michael depicted as
weighing souls

Death is inevitable for all of us; "through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned--" (Romans 5:12). "For the wages of sin is death..." (Romans 6:23). But I choose to view it as the key that shall open the door for Eternal Life. 

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, "death puts an end to human life as the time to open to either accepting or rejecting the Divine grace manifested in Christ. (CCC 1021). Death then is not the end. It opens the door to the afterlife ~ either in eternal joy in heaven, or unending torments in hell. "The New Testament speaks of judgment primarily in its aspect of the final encounter with Christ in His second coming, but also repeatedly affirms that each will be rewarded immediately after death in accordance with his works and faith. The parable of the poor man Lazarus and the words of Christ on the cross to the good thief, as well as other New Testament texts speak of a final destiny of the soul -- a destiny which can be different for some and for others. (CCC 1021) 

Since death is unavoidable and comes like a thief in the night, how do we prepare ourselves for it? How then do we combat evil and stand firm in the Faith till the end? 

All is God's grace. But we have to be mindful of our choices and actions, avoid sin, always do good as we ought, and obey the precepts of the Lord. We pray to have the virtue of humility, as pride was the cause of the downfall of Lucifer. 

Saint Michael of Good Children
by Simeon Solomon

To be in the state of grace, we can always have recourse to the benefits of the Sacraments, like go to frequent Confession and daily Mass to receive the Body of Jesus in the Eucharist. Prayer, too, is a great means of salvation and of perfection. "When one does not love prayer, it is morally impossible for him to resist his passions", Saint Alphonsus Maria de Liguori said. 

The Vicar of Christ pointed out that we have to be constantly on guard against the attacks of the devil. He reminds us to put on the full Armor of God : Truth as a belt around our waists, and Faith in God as a shield to defend ourselves against the wickedness of Satan.

We can also keep the devil at bay by doing works of Mercy. It does not have to be something grand, because anything done from the heart confounds Satan. He can win a battle of wits with us, but he always loses whenever we choose to serve our neighbors in sacrificial love. Saint Gregory the Great said that the proof of love is in the works. 

"No man has power to retain the spirit, or power over the day of death." (Ecc 8:8). Life is short, and heaven and hell is real. It would be a bonus if God would reveal to me when He shall bid me home. But I feel that I have yet to become like the humblest and glorious of His saints before He shall grant me that grace. 

The good does not fear death. Like Simeon, we can pray for a joyful death, saying to God, "Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you may now dismiss your servant in peace." ((St. Luke 2:29) How wonderful it would be to be able to say, just like Saint Paul did, "I have fought the good fight. I have finished the course. I have kept the faith." (2Timothy 4: 7).

Saint Michael (on the left) with the small book of the blessed souls.
The angel on the right holds the book of the damned.
(The Last Judgement, Michelangelo)

In the meantime, as we tread in the valley of tears, we can rest assured that as children of God, we get the extra assistance from His ministering angels. We are accompanied always in our earthly pilgrimage and can confidently rely in the special protection of Saint Michael the archangel. When he, the Angel of Death, comes, we may welcome him as one who shall take us home to see the face of our Almighty Father.  Pray with me, as I beseech his intercession:

"Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the malice and snares of the Devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God. thrust into hell Satan, and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen."