O Sweet Christ on Earth

"How do you know if you are called? 
That is for you to know. You need to have an open heart to be able to hear God calling you."

The above are not accurate transcriptions (and translation) of memorable lines that struck me while watching the movie Papa Francisco, The Pope Francis Story earlier. (Originally entitled Francisco: El Padre Jorge.) A colleague gave me his premiere night movie ticket for the film about Pope Francis, brought to the Philippines by Pioneer Films, in partnership with  Veritas and SM Cinema, and which will be officially shown in movie theaters on September 30, 2015. 

While paying close attention to the big screen, and making sure I was able to read the English subtitles, I was also having flashbacks of the wonderful experience of seeing the Holy Father so close during his apostolic visit to our country last January. It is amazing how I have been given the once-in-a-lifetime honor to serve the Vicar of Christ.

Sweet Christ on Earth

Swim Against the Tide

My daily commute to work is, at most times, uneventful. Often I'd take the one-tricycle, one-jeepney ride to go to New York, Cubao (my stop), and then walk about a minute or so to get to the Obispado. (It's been a joke among friends that I'm a New Yorker, only that I work near New York Street in Quezon City. The streets around the office are names after some North American cities, like Chicago, Vancouver, Seattle, Maryland, Denver, among others.)

This morning I took an FX from Rotonda. (An FX is a term used for non-metered taxis, named after the 1986 Toyota Tamaraw FX model of multi-purpose vehicles.) I sat at the back, where it was comfortable. Beside me was a woman probably in her 50s. Across from me were two young male students. In the middle seat were three more young men, and a woman. In front, beside the driver, were two women who wore uniforms I recognized as from a bank. The male passengers, based on their conversation that the rest of us could not help but overhear, are students of a university that we'll pass along the route to Cubao.

The Road Less Traveled By

"Do you know where you're going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? Where are you going to, do you know? Do you get what you're hoping for, when you look behind you there's no open door? What are you hoping for? Do you know?

This song was the last I heard before I got off my stop on my commute going home today. It has ear-wormed its way into my head. Usually I would get annoyed when a song, especially one that I do not particularly like, gets stuck in my mind for a while. But this one reminded me of a pivotal moment in my life which made me choose a different road, instead of the original I had planned to take. (I wrote about that life-changing experience here.)

I believe that in God's great design of the entire Creation, He has made each person for a specific purpose ~ a mission that only that individual, and no one else, can accomplish.  

As a little girl, I remember learning in catechism classes that my choices must be aligned with God's will. I also learned to pray, "Dear Lord, may Your will be done in my life!" I did not understand the seriousness and depth of those words then, but I prayed them anyway. Another vivid memory I have was wondering if the heavens would open, and God's thundering voice shall be audibly heard speaking to me so that I will know just what to do. 

But it does not happen that way. How then do we know where God wants us to go? How do we know what the will of God is in our lives?


Spend Time to have a Prayerful Discernment

The Catechism for Filipino Catholics says, "To discern God's action in our daily lives demands a spiritual sensitivity that comes only from authentic Christian prayer and worship. This means that our personal prayer is grounded in God's revelation in Scripture and the Church's living Tradition. Only then are we sure to worship 'in Spirit and in Truth.'" 

In one retreat I attended a few years ago, I learned that discernment involves making a decision that gives utmost priority to the will of God in our lives. It is not simply choosing between two or more options. It is going for the best out of other good choices. 

Saint Ignatius of Loyola, in his Spiritual Exercises said, "Our only desire and our one choice should be this: I want and I choose what better leads to God's deepening His life in me."

We are all hard-wired to have the ardor to seek for God, after all we are created after His own image. But our longing for God must move us to make the conscious decision to open our hearts to Him, and listen to His voice. He will not impose; He respects our free will, a gift which He has given to mankind. 

"The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself. Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for." (CCC § 27)

If we allow to have enough time for prayer daily, I believe that our omnipresent God, in His infinite goodness and love, will speak directly to each of us. Perhaps not in the same way that He spoke to the prophets of old, but the Lord who knows our thoughts and our hearts, definitely also knows best how to speak with us in the events of our daily lives, if we allow ourselves to be receptive to Him.

Another thing I did which helped me in my discernment is finding the time to attend recollections, and retreats. The solitude helped me in having heart-to-heart talks with God. Even now, I still attend talks and symposiums that deepen my understanding of the Faith. I have also been very choosy with the books I read now. I used to just leaf-through any book I get a hold on, no matter what it is about, all because of sheer curiosity. It was difficult at first, but these days I hunger for books that help enrich my Faith. A book that has become a favorite of mine is The Story of a Soul by Saint Therese of Lisieux. The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis, and The Dialogue of Saint Catherine of Siena, are helpful books, too.

Be Not Afraid to Tell God Your Fears

Everything starts with small beginnings. But we have to take that first step, and do it with courage. I started mine by voicing to God what I was so afraid of. I told Him I knew what I wanted in my life but was unsure if it was for my best. I told Him all my dreams, and even consulted Him that these dreams were not what the people around me wanted for me; and that I sometimes felt caught in a dilemma between obeying them and doing what I want for my own life. I told Him I am too sinful, felt inadequate, and so unworthy. Initially I was hesitant to tell Him everything, including all my fears, my disappointments, what I most desire, and exactly what I was expecting from Him. Yes, I have been this open to telling God what I truly feel. With prayer, I eventually felt at ease telling Him what's in my heart. He knows everything anyway.

In a prayerful relationship with God, we are able to allow Him to speak to us through His Word, the Holy Bible. Reading about the lives of the saints, and other holy men and women, have helped me, too. He also uses the ordinary events of our lives to inspire us, and even sends people whose lives may stir in us a desire to serve Him concretely, or in a particular way, in His Church. More often than not, God uses the wisdom of other people to speak to us.

One such saint who has inspired me is Saint John Paul II. Having seen him up close at the World Youth Day in Manila, hearing him speak, and reading some of his works, has influenced me greatly. He often told the youth, "Be not afraid!"

"Ask yourselves, young people, about the love of Christ. Acknowledge His voice resounding in the temple of your heart. Return His bright and penetrating glance which opens the paths of your life to the horizons of the Church's mission. It is a taxing mission, today more than ever to teach men the truth about themselves, about their end, their destiny, and to show faithful souls the unspeakable riches of the love of Christ. Do not be afraid of the radicalness of His demands, because Jesus, who loved us first, is prepared to give Himself to you, as well as asking of you. If He asks much of you, it is because He knows you can give much." ~Saint John Paul II, The Meaning of Vocation.

In my Faith journey, one of the things that deeply took root in my soul, and which has been a source of great help and consolation, is my love and devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. When I am afraid, I run to Her. When I am confused, I beg Her to consult Her Son Jesus on my behalf. When I am in desperate need of something, I plead with Her to God to answer my prayers.

We have Mother Mary as our role model of humble surrender and total obedience to the will of God.  (Luke 1:26-38). Through her good counsel and powerful intercession, I believe that the answers to our prayers are expedited.  (John 2:1-12) That is of course, if it is in line with the will of God. But I am confident in Her guidance and love for me, and for all of us her children. "She is more Mother than Queen", said Saint Therese. And she truly is! 


Taking the Leap of Faith

What happens after we hear God speaking to us, and we are made to realize what He wants done through us? 

We ought to obey. We take a leap of faith.

I reached a crossroads in my life when I knew what I wanted in my life, and at the same time what God wanted for me. They were not exactly the same. 

I worked for an airline company for almost a decade. Then my job after that was with an IT company which provided travel software and technology solutions for the global travel industry. It paid well, and it had awesome perks. All those years, God had been gracious in helping me balance my rather hectic schedule. I served in parish ministries. I did a lot of volunteer work both in Church, and with socio-civic organizations. I traveled once or twice a year, sometimes even more, both here and abroad. It was not exactly a glamorous life, but I enjoyed God's countless blessings.

And then He called me. He spoke to me, from His heart to mine, and told me what He wanted me to be. I struggled. I doubted. I questioned Him several times. I laid all my uncertainties before Him. He was magnanimous and patient with me, as always. He gave me time. Finally, when I said yes, I knew even within myself that I was ready. He has made me firm in the Faith. 

The Lord, through Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Catherine of Siena, Saint Rose of Lima, among several other saints, has called me to be a Lay Dominican. So I decided to leave the corporate world, and chose to be a full time pastoral worker in Church.  It does not give me the same perquisites like my previous jobs, but it definitely gives me blessings beyond my expectations.


Reaffirmations and Reassurances

During the apostolic visit of Pope Francis in the Philippines last January 15-19, 2015, I have been so blessed to serve as a volunteer for the official Papal Visit PH media team. I was even chosen to be among those who flew to Tacloban during the pope's Mass there. And being with the youth ministry of the diocese, I was also among those present to listen to Lolo Kiko's message at the University of Santo Tomas.

The pope's message struck to the core, and I would not be shy in admitting that I was in tears upon hearing his words.

"Real love leads you to spend yourselves in love, to leave your pockets open and empty. Saint Francis died with his pockets empty, but with a very full heart. This isn't easy to understand: To learn how to beg. To learn how to receive with humility. To learn to be evangelized by the poor, those that we help, those infirm, orphans; they have so much to offer us... Do you know that you, too, are poor? Do you know your poverty and the need that you receive? Do you let yourselves be evangelized by those you serve? Let them give to you? And this is what helps you mature in your commitment to give to others, to learn how to offer out your hand, from your very own poverty..."

For Each Tree is Known By Its Own Fruit (Luke 6:44)

Discernment is a life-long process. Having already said yes to God does not mean I should stop regularly asking Him what to do, and where to go next. I don't want to sound too self-righteous, but it is important to also be aware if my decision to follow Him has borne good fruits. (Fruits, which I learned, do not necessarily mean something I would pick out for myself; but things that others would benefit most from.) 

I am God's "work in progress." I actually believe He needs to do major overhauls with me. But He teaches me loving-patience. (I still am sometimes too hard on myself!). The Lord has been infinitely patient and merciful to me. I ought to learn from my Greatest Master and Friend. 

My life with Christ has truly been a wonderful adventure, far greater than what I expected and wanted it to be. The world may find me foolish for leaving the world that promises me success, power and money, and for taking instead the radical path of service and love like what my Radical Master Jesus did; but I have no regrets. I am happy that I am perfectly where God wants me to be. 

          "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- 
               I took the one less traveled by,
              And that has made all the difference."

                                                    

Befriend the Angel of Death

I ran across the Grim Reaper today on my way to work. You'd think it would have evoked fear, but on the contrary, I found him cute.

It's that time of year again for trick-or-treating. This practice is customary in North America and some other countries like Great Britain and Ireland. In the Philippines, this has been gradually replacing Pangangaluwa, a local version of the old English custom souling. 

Heinrich Fussli's Sleep and Death
Carrying Awa6y Sarpedon of Lycia, 1803

But this blog is not about the practice of dressing up in costumes and begging door to door for candies and treats. (My nephew calls it candy walk.) When I saw that little boy dressed as Death, I wondered if we actually do think about it in the right perspective. The Christian perspective at that. 

A friend of mine recently died. I had the same sentiment as anyone would have ~ it was still too early; he was still young and at the prime of his life. The cause of his death was not due to an accident or any medical condition; but no one could stop his unexpected demise. I quote Job in saying, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord."


In many cultures, Death is allegorically portrayed as someone NOT purely evil. In Greek mythology, it is portrayed as Thatanos, the twin brother of the god of sleep, Hypnos. In the Jewish tradition, it is an Angel of Death full of eyes who stands at the head of the dying person with a drawn sword. In English folklore, it has been personified as a skeletal figure dressed in a hooded black cloak and is carrying a scythe.  Even the Bible talks about the Angel of Life and Death, the "destroyer", who passed over the door of  the Israelites marked with the blood of the Passover lamb. 

Saint Michael
the Archangel

I have not heard of a Christian allegory for death. But when I think about the angel of death, what comes to mind is Saint Michael the Archangel; he who carries the souls of the deceased to heaven.

I learned from catechism that he is the angel who cried out "Quis ut Deus? (Latin for Who is like God?) when he smote the rebel Lucifer who in his pride desired to be God. In the Book of Revelation, Saint Michael leads God's armies against Satan and his cohorts. His primary role is chief and commander of the heavenly hosts who vanquished the devil, and as leader of the Army of God will achieve victory at the battle of Armageddon. (To know more about the victory of Saint Mi Cha El and the fall of Lucifer, watch this video Lucifer vs. St Michael: Why St Michael Won!) 

The Roman Catholic tradition holds him as the the protector and Guardian of the Church. He is the guardian angel of the Bishop of Rome, and the angel of the Blessed Sacrament.

Saint Michael, as the Christian angel of death, is the defender of souls. He is traditionally presumed to be present at a person's deathbed; he descends and gives each soul the chance to redeem itself before passing. He is charged not just to assist the dying, but also to accompany souls to bring them to purgatory, and afterwards present them to God. He weighs souls in his perfectly balanced scales on Judgement day, based on their deeds while living on earth. In the painting of the Last Judgement on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo depicted Saint Michael as reading the souls to be saved from the small book he held.

Archangel Michael saving souls from
Purgatory by Jacopo Vignali

In Saint Michael the Archangel, we have an angelic model for the virtues of a spiritual warrior. He exemplifies the victory of good over evil. As the Church Militant, we have to work out our salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), and pray for the grace to have forbearance and fortitude to become triumphant in the battle within ourselves. 

At the Mass held in Casa Santa Matha on October 30, 2014, Pope Francis said that "Life is a military endeavor. Christian life is a battle, a beautiful battle, because when God emerges victorious in every step of our life, this gives us joy, a great happiness."

Pope Francis also said that the devil is more than an idea. "In this generation, like so many others, people have been led to believe that the devil is a myth, a figure, an idea, the idea of evil. But the devil exists and we must fight against him."

There may be people who do not believe in a spiritual combat, let alone in the existence of angels and demons. But I always remember one homily given by the Exorcist of the Diocese of Cubao, Fr. Jojo Zerrudo, who said that the spiritual warfare for our souls between angels and demons is real ~ the celestial beings want to win souls for heaven, while the devils will exhaust all means to drag souls to hell for eternal damnation. 

Saint Michael depicted as
weighing souls

Death is inevitable for all of us; "through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned--" (Romans 5:12). "For the wages of sin is death..." (Romans 6:23). But I choose to view it as the key that shall open the door for Eternal Life. 

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, "death puts an end to human life as the time to open to either accepting or rejecting the Divine grace manifested in Christ. (CCC 1021). Death then is not the end. It opens the door to the afterlife ~ either in eternal joy in heaven, or unending torments in hell. "The New Testament speaks of judgment primarily in its aspect of the final encounter with Christ in His second coming, but also repeatedly affirms that each will be rewarded immediately after death in accordance with his works and faith. The parable of the poor man Lazarus and the words of Christ on the cross to the good thief, as well as other New Testament texts speak of a final destiny of the soul -- a destiny which can be different for some and for others. (CCC 1021) 

Since death is unavoidable and comes like a thief in the night, how do we prepare ourselves for it? How then do we combat evil and stand firm in the Faith till the end? 

All is God's grace. But we have to be mindful of our choices and actions, avoid sin, always do good as we ought, and obey the precepts of the Lord. We pray to have the virtue of humility, as pride was the cause of the downfall of Lucifer. 

Saint Michael of Good Children
by Simeon Solomon

To be in the state of grace, we can always have recourse to the benefits of the Sacraments, like go to frequent Confession and daily Mass to receive the Body of Jesus in the Eucharist. Prayer, too, is a great means of salvation and of perfection. "When one does not love prayer, it is morally impossible for him to resist his passions", Saint Alphonsus Maria de Liguori said. 

The Vicar of Christ pointed out that we have to be constantly on guard against the attacks of the devil. He reminds us to put on the full Armor of God : Truth as a belt around our waists, and Faith in God as a shield to defend ourselves against the wickedness of Satan.

We can also keep the devil at bay by doing works of Mercy. It does not have to be something grand, because anything done from the heart confounds Satan. He can win a battle of wits with us, but he always loses whenever we choose to serve our neighbors in sacrificial love. Saint Gregory the Great said that the proof of love is in the works. 

"No man has power to retain the spirit, or power over the day of death." (Ecc 8:8). Life is short, and heaven and hell is real. It would be a bonus if God would reveal to me when He shall bid me home. But I feel that I have yet to become like the humblest and glorious of His saints before He shall grant me that grace. 

The good does not fear death. Like Simeon, we can pray for a joyful death, saying to God, "Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you may now dismiss your servant in peace." ((St. Luke 2:29) How wonderful it would be to be able to say, just like Saint Paul did, "I have fought the good fight. I have finished the course. I have kept the faith." (2Timothy 4: 7).

Saint Michael (on the left) with the small book of the blessed souls.
The angel on the right holds the book of the damned.
(The Last Judgement, Michelangelo)

In the meantime, as we tread in the valley of tears, we can rest assured that as children of God, we get the extra assistance from His ministering angels. We are accompanied always in our earthly pilgrimage and can confidently rely in the special protection of Saint Michael the archangel. When he, the Angel of Death, comes, we may welcome him as one who shall take us home to see the face of our Almighty Father.  Pray with me, as I beseech his intercession:

"Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the malice and snares of the Devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God. thrust into hell Satan, and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen."