Life In A Dash

I have not organized my thoughts yet ~ lost a loved one to cancer last week. 

Before the final blessing during the Requiem Mass, the celebrant read a poem that I am posting here. I will write about my personal reflections one of these days. The words will come, when it's the perfect time.

Divine Word Gardens

​The Dash

by Linda Ellis 

​I read of a man who stood to speak

at the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on the tombstone

from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth

and spoke the following date with tears,

but he said what mattered most of all

was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time

In Defense of Judas

I remember as a young girl, I learned a declamation piece called "Despair of Judas", in which Judas did not have hope in the end, that's why he opted to take his own life. But as I grew older, I have come to personally believe that even Judas was redeemed by the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ. I personally believe that I cannot pass judgement on Judas. Only God knows whether his soul is for heaven or hell.

And then, I came across this piece by Kalookan Bishop, His Excellency Most Rev. Pablo Virgilio "Ambo" S. David, D.D. 

What a powerful message of forgiveness and mercy in this Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy!

In Defense of Judas
By Bishop Ambo David

Swim Against the Tide

My daily commute to work is, at most times, uneventful. Often I'd take the one-tricycle, one-jeepney ride to go to New York, Cubao (my stop), and then walk about a minute or so to get to the Obispado. (It's been a joke among friends that I'm a New Yorker, only that I work near New York Street in Quezon City. The streets around the office are names after some North American cities, like Chicago, Vancouver, Seattle, Maryland, Denver, among others.)

This morning I took an FX from Rotonda. (An FX is a term used for non-metered taxis, named after the 1986 Toyota Tamaraw FX model of multi-purpose vehicles.) I sat at the back, where it was comfortable. Beside me was a woman probably in her 50s. Across from me were two young male students. In the middle seat were three more young men, and a woman. In front, beside the driver, were two women who wore uniforms I recognized as from a bank. The male passengers, based on their conversation that the rest of us could not help but overhear, are students of a university that we'll pass along the route to Cubao.

The Hobbit, Winning One Soul for God

I am not a moviegoer. I can actually go on for months without watching a film on TV or on the big screen. When I do go, I usually just tag along with cousins or accompany a nephew and niece. But every now and then, when time permits, I watch marathons with my siblings. 

Last Friday night, December 12, was one of those rare occasions when I watched a movie at the theater. It was a special movie screening organized by the Dominican (Order of Preachers) student brothers to raise funds for their ministry to the youth, justice and peace, care for creation,  promotion of devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, and to support their social communications media apostolate. The fund raising activity was dubbed The Hobbit, for the Habit of Sharing!

I have read the Hobbit a long time ago, before the first Lord of the Rings movie came out. I honestly don't remember the details of it anymore, except that I am pretty sure Legolas was not in it yet. 

I enjoyed the movie a lot. It had been a long time since I have done something relaxing and entertaining. But I admit that I did not pay a hundred-percent attention to the details of every scene. As Thorin searched for the Arkenstone, I was reminded of how men get too attached with worldly possessions and pleasures. How we sometimes fall into madness as we obsessively pursue success, financial security, power and recognition. In one scene, Thorin said, "If more of us valued... cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." In this capitalist world we live in now, sometimes we all fall prey to greed and forget the things that truly matter most, like family, friends, and our Faith.

I may sound too mushy, but towards the end of the movie, I was struck by Tauriel's words as she mourned the death of Kili: "If this is love, I don't want it. Take it away, please! Why does it hurt so much?" 

Thranduil, the Elvenking, replied, "Because it was real."

It echoed what Archbishop Soc said about love. "My dear young people, love is not a feeling. Love is sacrifice. And there is no greater love than to die for your beloved", he said.

Earlier that Friday, I was at the Araneta Coliseum for the "Win One for God: A Pope Rally" organized by the Couples For Christ-Foundation for Family and Life (CFC-FFL) and the Family Rosary Crusade (FRC). It was a gathering that aimed to spiritually prepare the youth for the apostolic visit of Pope Francis in 2015, and it focused on the papal visit's theme, Mercy and Compassion. Archbishop Soc Villegas, D.D. presided over the Eucharistic celebration in honor of the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, with Bishop Honesto Ongtioco, D.D. of the Diocese of Cubao as con-celebrant. During the homily, Archbishop Soc reminded the youth to frequent the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and not be afraid to ask God for forgiveness because He is our merciful and compassionate Father. He also explained why we do the sign of the cross ~ to know ("kilala"), love ("mahal") and accept ("tanggap") God. He emphasized that we should all keep our eyes fixed on Jesus; to focus on Him so that we may be able to do small acts of love and win a soul for God. 

As I watched the battle of the five armies, I thought of the daily struggles we go through and the inner wars we all fight in order to survive. In Bilbo, a hobbit, I thought of all the unsung heroes who work "behind the scenes" to make our daily existence more comfortable. I was also reminded of the shepherds who visited Jesus, ordinary folk who were used by God for a greater mission to spread the Joy of the Messiah's birth. I reflected on how we are all part of a great tapestry, that we all have something to do in the vineyard of the Lord. We all have a role to play, and God values our acts done in humility and love. 

Saint Therese' words echoed in my head, "Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love."

I thought of Bilbo Baggins, and how he who is unknown and lowly has helped change the heart of Thorin. It was not by power nor by might that he accomplished his mission. 

Pure, sacrificial love was the answer. It always has to be Love.

"Fiat mihi secundum verbum tuum"

I love to quote Saint John Paul II when he said that "In the designs of Providence, there are no mere coincidences."

Just recently, I met a religious sister who told me to always remember my first yes to God, as I will find in it the resolve and the strength to persevere in fighting the good fight till the very end, especially in times of trials and struggles.

God has required my "yeses" so many times. At first I would resist a bit, but then I could not just find it in my heart to say no to Him.

The most pivotal of all those yeses happened more than two years ago. I spent Holy Week for the first time in the United States and spent Good Friday in Chicago. I sorely missed the Philippines then, because here, I get to observe the holy in the Semana Santa where we have the Pabasa, the Visita Iglesia, among other pious practices that we have.

I had to do with whatever service the Church in the US had. Good Friday is not even a holiday there. I ached knowing that if one day God will allow me to live there, I will not be having days of observance of the Church's holiest days. 

On that Good Friday in 2012, I was at the Holy Name Cathedral of Chicago, and contemplated on the Passion and Death of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Redeemer. In the middle of the Liturgy and before the Veneration of the Cross, I heard the Spirit of God whisper to my heart, "I love you and Am able to give all that you ask. Are you willing to follow Me and carry the cross I shall give you?"

I had many fears and was aware of my own weaknesses. But I answered, "Yes, Lord, here i am. i will follow You."

Inside my head He showed me all that I have been praying for and all that He can give me. I knew that He shall be giving them to me in His time and not in mine.

Our omnipresent God whispered again, "I love you my child. You know that with Me all things are possible, and that even in the blink of an eye, I can give you all that you pray for and desire. But are you willing to wait for My perfect time? Do you trust Me fully? Are you willing to offer sacrifices, carry your cross and suffer for the salvation of others, while you await the fulfillment of My promises to you?"

How do you answer when the Lord asks you these questions?

With resignation in my heart and tears in my eyes, i answered, "Yes Lord, here i am. Make my heart meek and humble. Make my heart like unto Thine."

In my mind I saw women silently crying and being pushed by their circumstances to commit abortion. I saw children being forced to work while their parents neglect them. I saw young people succumb in immorality, vices and addiction. I couldn't help but cry. And I knew God wanted me to cooperate with His will and be one of His instruments to help allay fear and pain in the world.

It was overwhelming. I knew it entailed responsibility and the offering of my entire self. I shook in fear and uncertainty. I felt so unworthy to be called. I felt I was too shattered myself I cannot do much for those who are also suffering.

Finally, the Lord once again reassured me, "I love you, and I can do everything for you and give you that which you most desire..." At that point, I cried uncontrollably. I have this litany of prayers I have been begging the Lord to give me. But serving in Church ministries for a long time, I knew about patiently waiting for God's kairos. The Lord went on to ask me, "Are you willing to wait, carry your cross, commit your life to Me, and trust in My perfect will?"

In my heart of hearts, I borrowed my Sweetest Mother and Queen's reply, "Ecce ancilla Domini. Fiat mihi secundum verbum tuum." Behold the handmaid of the Lord. Be it done unto me according to Thy Word.

I look back today to that fateful day of my yes to God. I look back with happiness and tears of joy where it has taken me in my Faith journey.

Pope Francis reminds me, and all of us, that we are His people on a journey. "When we set out on a journey, when we are on a path, we always discover new things, things which we did not know... Life is a journey toward the fullness of Jesus Christ."

"God is a God of surprises..." (Pope Francis)

There is peace in obedience to the will of God. There is joy in pain (pain of waiting most especially!) But God surprises me with His goodness and mercy! He is never outdone in His generosity and love for me... 

Oh what a journey it has been!