Faith is Stronger than Yolanda: A Year After the Storm

"In deep pain, people don't need logic, advice, encouragement, or even Scripture. They just need you to show up..." ~Rick Warren.

Mass grave in the Palo Cathedral grounds

I was not in the Philippines when I heard the news about typhoon Haiyan (locally called Yolanda) wrecking havoc in the Visayas region. The towns there were cut off from electricity and communication. For the first few days, anxiety was high as we waited for news from relatives living there. It was heartbreaking to learn that family members of some of my friends did not survive. One of my cousins decided to fly to Cebu and from there, took a ferry to Ormoc. It was the only way to reach Alang-alang and Palo, where our relatives live. I do not want to sound insensitive, but my family is grateful we have not lost loved ones in Typhoon Yolanda last November 08, 2013. All my relatives in Leyte survived. But I feel their sorrow for the people that meant to them who perished that day. I listened to the stories of my cousins' harrowing experience that fateful morning when the super typhoon ravaged their town and damaged almost everything in its path. I talked with some other survivors when I visited Palo, Leyte about two months ago. Their stories still echo the deep sorrow of losing those dear to them. I guess it's easier to say you've moved on, but in reality, the anguish will never totally go away.   

One of the dormitory rooms at
St. John the Evangelist School of Theology

How do you comfort the bereaved? No words can ever be enough to ease the grief of someone saddened and deprived by the death of a loved one. Especially one that is due to a natural disaster. Sometimes, taking time to visit them suffices. I have proven that to be true when I went to Palo. The survivors I spoke with expressed deep appreciation for being remembered to be checked on. One mother was even in tears as she thanked me for my gesture of flying all the way from Manila just to meet and talk with them. 

Bro. Ryan Salvacion

I got to speak with some seminarians of the Saint John the Evangelist School of Theology in Palo, Leyte. One of them, Bro. Ryan Salvacion of San Joaquin Parish, Palo, recounted that he and his brother-seminarians were up early that day. He was serving in the morning celebration of the Holy Eucharist. He remembered it had been raining the whole night, but they were not particularly worried about the typhoon. The Philippine islands are battered by storms every year, and Yolanda did not really alarm them. Bro. Ryan said he thought the storm-surges were unlikely to reach the seminary. But when it did come, the water rose up so high they held on to the ceiling joists of the dormitory. 

Bro. Ryan said a verse from the Letter of Saint Paul to the Romans kept ringing in his head while they were all afloat and expecting death: "For if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord's. (Romans 14:8). He said it was a moment of abandonment to Divine Providence, because in life and in death, we are all in the hands of God.

Bro. Jonathan Saavedra showed me
what used to be his dorm room

Bro. Jonathan Saavedra, another seminarian in Palo, but hails from Tagum, Davao del Norte, said he also found comfort in the promise of God as he held on to dear life. "The Lord says, 'Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; You are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you... For I am the Lord your God.'" (Isaiah 43:1-3). 

In Bro. Jonathan's words: "This passage from Isaiah is a promise from the Lord that He will really save us from any calamity. Faith is stronger than Yolanda. I told the Lord that if it His will, if it is His plan that I become a priest, I prayed Lord save us! Save us from death!" 

When the waters subsided, he said he knew God still has great plans for them. 40 seminarians and two priests inside the dormitory, all survived the fury of Yolanda.

Women I had the honor to speak with

One year after the supertyphoon hit the Philippines' Eastern seaboard, the outpouring of love from people from around the world is still overwhelming. Some housewives I have visited and spoken to said the assistance and donations that everyone sent will never be forgotten. They particularly remember the very big help that the Catholic Relief Services has done to alleviate their suffering. One of the women told me that the mere presence of the volunteers from different nations who responded days after Yolanda made landfall, gave them reason to hold on. They knew someone cared enough to come and help them. They felt loved and not forgotten.

Basey, Samar, a few days after Yolanda made landfall
Photo credit: Fr. Ronnie Santos of the Diocese of Cubao

The courage and heroism of those men and women I spoke with are truly remarkable. Their warmth and smiles were genuine even between holding back tears. The fortitude that got them back on their feet again to rebuild and start anew shows heroism and strength of spirit. They have shown me what resilience and hope is about. One year after, the rehabilitation of the towns devastated by Yolanda is not totally done yet. And help still pours.

Clergy & Lay volunteers of the Diocese of Cubao
filling up a 10-wheeler truck
of relief goods for the survivors of Yolanda.

How can we contribute? Our compassion must take us where our hands reach out to touch, where our hearts listen and empathize, our mouths uplift, encourage and speak love, and where our feet move us to meet those who are suffering. Our feeling of deep sympathy must cause us to act and to do something to alleviate their pain, no matter how small the deed would be.

This, I realized, was what Jesus did during His ministry. Jesus gave us the example to follow: we are called to become like Him for others, to show His mercy and love; to be His hands and feet to those in need. Compassion must move us to take action and ease the sorrow of those who are broken and hurting. 

Before and After pictures: Our Lady of Guadalupe Parish
in Brgy. Abucay, Tacloban City
(One of the parishes adopted by the Diocese of Cubao)

As we share our time, treasure and talent in the rehabilitation of the towns ravaged by Yolanda, let us also always remember to pray for those who perished, and those they have left behind.

Let us pray with the families affected by the supertyphoon: Most Loving Father, One year ago, the fury of Typhoon Yolanda made us experience darkness and the pain of losing everything; it made us understand the meaning of despair. But in the midst of all these, You never have forsaken us. In the most special way, You gifted us courage and strength to rise again. In the most loving way, You shielded us with mercy and compassion. And You accomplished miracles through those who came to our aid. And as we remember that day today, we thank You for the gift of faith, hope and love. We thank You for bringing us closer to You. We thank You for letting us live another day. Spare our nation from the wrath of nature, as we find ways to care for Your Creation.

Glory to the Father, to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever. Amen.

After Abortion: Responding with Compassion

"Human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of conception. From the first moment of his existence, a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person ~among which is the inviolable right of every innocent being to life." (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2270)

I am Pro-Life to the core! (I have shared my story in this previous article.) I am thankful for my life and am grateful that I was valued for my personhood and was not taken as a mere clump of tissue. Life is a gift from God Almighty and I cherish this gift to be alive. 

At any given time, when faced with a person who is pro-choice or is considering termination of the life in her womb, I would do my very best to convince her there are other options and that choosing life is the best way to go. But what do you do when someone comes to you and confides that she has already aborted her almost full-term baby? 

Listen with an open heart. For the first few moments after hearing such a confession, I remember being confounded and at a loss for words. I sensed the mother's reluctance to tell me the truth, and the desperation to be freed of the guilt and the pain. While I allowed her to talk, deep inside I was asking myself, How do I reach out to this woman with love? Where do I start? What do I say first?

I realized that the most loving act I could do was to listen. The wounds caused by abortion are imprinted in the soul, and allowing the mother to talk about her grief was a step towards healing. She believed that no one would understand her pain and shame, and admitted to being assaulted by self-condemnation. She struggled with thoughts of burning in hell for her sin. She knew my stance against abortion, and hesitated to share her story with me; but she banked on our friendship. I felt so shattered knowing what happened to her son, but I valued her trust. 

Judge not. I have stopped trying to grasp the weight of her desperate circumstances that led to her decision. I had no power to bring the baby back. (I couldn't help but think that the baby would have been my godson!) I have heard many stories and reasons why women choose abortion. There is fear and/or coercion. Most are due to emotional and physical abandonment by the baby's father. There is the financial difficulty, or (as what I have often heard), the extreme fear of being disowned by parents once the pregnancy is discovered. Initially, I partly blamed myself for not knowing that my friend was silently crying out for help. I was tempted to sulk at my sin of omission, but it was not the time for that. She needed help and I knew that God wanted me to be an instrument of His love. With a prayer in my heart, I did what I knew best: be her friend. I assured her that although she gave in to absolute despair before, there is a way out of the darkness. I made her feel that God loves her so much in spite of herself. I told her that God's mercy is boundless and only His love will bring back joy into her life.

Acknowledge the pain.  As I fought back my own tears, I allowed her to grieve and assured her that only God can help her from getting deeper into despair. I literally let her cry on my shoulder. I knew somehow she did not feel alone anymore. I did my very best to make her understand that there is hope and relief from her pain. I had to  convince her that God's wrath won't be upon her, especially because of her deep remorse for her wrong choice, and her willingness to ask the Lord's forgiveness.  It was vital to make her feel that I support her, that I care for her, that I'd be with her through her ordeal. Where I fall short as a friend, I told her she can depend on God as the One who'd never let her down.

Be loving. Once trust was established, she completely opened up. I resolved to express my silent, unspoken love as she related all her concerns to me. Charity and understanding was what she needed, and that I gave to her. Soon she expressed that she had to maturely deal with the repercussions of her choice. When words were no longer enough, a warm embrace sufficed. I knew those hugs were therapeutic!

Emphasize that Confession is life changing. The one thing I encouraged my friend to do was that she go to Confession. My friend told me she used to think abortion not only killed her baby, but it also destroyed her life. She thought it was an unforgivable sin that she could never approach God. I told her the Sacrament of Reconciliation was a means to connect with God, have a clean slate and start all over again. I did my best to point out that through this sacrament of God's mercy, a great deal of her burdens shall be lifted off of her shoulders and she shall have  peace of mind. I told her she only had to pray for the grace to be able to humbly approach Him whose love for her is infinite. I assured her that reconciling with God will bring about the change she so desired. In His immeasurable Divine Mercy and compassion, God shall tread all our iniquities under foot and shall cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. (Micah 7:19)

Live love. Love life. A few days after, she happily told me she has gone to confession and felt so much closer to God. Fast forward to a few years, she got married, and one day I received an invitation that I shall be the godmother of her healthy, gorgeous baby boy. She said she felt she was truly forgiven of her sins when she learned she was going to have another child. This time, of course, she chose life. God has blessed her and her husband with two wonderful boys!

God's healing grace and forgiveness is endless, we only have to approach Him. No matter how grave our sins are, He is always just waiting with open arms for our return. His unconditional love and generosity can never be outdone!

Bringing Back Holiness in Halloween

Children at the March of Saints earlier at
the Santo Domingo Parish

I did not grow up getting dressed as a Disney princess to go knocking at doors to collect candies on All Hallows Eve. I have experienced trick-or-treating about twice, not as a child, but as a teenager; and have gone to several Halloween parties. 

The annual fright fest was not always part of the culture in the Philippines, at least as far as I remember my childhood. The current tech-savvy generation however is probably well acquainted now with the Sandman, Jack the Ripper, the Boogeyman, Jack-o-Lantern, and perhaps even the Grim Reaper. I wasn't when I was younger.

The contemporary celebration focuses too much on horror, violence and the culture of death. (and consumerism!) But it wasn't always so. It isn't what Allhallowtide is about.

All Saints' Eve is a precursor to the celebration of the solemnity of All Saints, which commemorates all the holy men and women enjoying the beatific vision in heaven. 

Saint Pedro Calungsod and
Saint Dominic de Guzman

Earlier today I participated in the March of Saints at the Santo Domingo Parish. I did not dress up as my favorite Saint, but I was there to show support to the parish in their effort to teach the faithful about why we celebrate Halloween. Rev. Fr. Ching Salibay, OP, the parish priest, said that it was the first time they have organized the activity, and hopes it becomes an annual affair. (It was my first time to witness one, too!)  

The aim of the activity was to make people aware that we do not celebrate ghosts, warlocks and the devils on this day, but remember in a special way the people who have gone before us~ the Church Triumphant. The saints and martyrs are our models of Faith and charity. We remember how they have lived and persevered in fighting the good fight till the end, and how by their good example we can draw inspiration from. It is not easy to be good; especially when beset with trials and temptations. Fr. Ching also said that we can look to the Saints for encouragement, because in them we find that the imperfect can become perfect. (Think of Saint Peter, Saint Paul. Saint Thomas, Saint Augustine and Saint Mary Magdalene, among many other awesome saints!)

(L-R) Saint Peter Verona, Blessed Margaret of Castello,
Saint Rose of Lima and Saint Therese of Lisieux
(Saint Joan of Arc is not in the picture)

There were 34 children who came dressed as saints. There was a procession around the neighboring streets of  Santo Domingo at around four in the afternoon, followed by a short program. The parents of the children expressed approval and appreciation for having an activity geared towards giving the little ones a catechism about the saints and heaven.

Five children were given recognition for being able to best portray their saints. They were all too happy to have received their prizes.  Everyone got candies and treats of course! Each child took home a bag full of goodies and gifts from generous donors.  One of the children said he looks forward to the March of Saints in 2015 and shall definitely take part in it again. 

I hope next year there will be less goblins, vampires, witches and devils come Halloween. As Christians, we should not be ashamed and afraid to express our Faith. It's about time we embrace Halloween as a festivity that will counter the Culture of Death. Through it, we can also share the Light of Christ and proclaim His victory over sin, death and the devil!

Befriend the Angel of Death

I ran across the Grim Reaper today on my way to work. You'd think it would have evoked fear, but on the contrary, I found him cute.

It's that time of year again for trick-or-treating. This practice is customary in North America and some other countries like Great Britain and Ireland. In the Philippines, this has been gradually replacing Pangangaluwa, a local version of the old English custom souling. 

Heinrich Fussli's Sleep and Death
Carrying Awa6y Sarpedon of Lycia, 1803

But this blog is not about the practice of dressing up in costumes and begging door to door for candies and treats. (My nephew calls it candy walk.) When I saw that little boy dressed as Death, I wondered if we actually do think about it in the right perspective. The Christian perspective at that. 

A friend of mine recently died. I had the same sentiment as anyone would have ~ it was still too early; he was still young and at the prime of his life. The cause of his death was not due to an accident or any medical condition; but no one could stop his unexpected demise. I quote Job in saying, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord."


In many cultures, Death is allegorically portrayed as someone NOT purely evil. In Greek mythology, it is portrayed as Thatanos, the twin brother of the god of sleep, Hypnos. In the Jewish tradition, it is an Angel of Death full of eyes who stands at the head of the dying person with a drawn sword. In English folklore, it has been personified as a skeletal figure dressed in a hooded black cloak and is carrying a scythe.  Even the Bible talks about the Angel of Life and Death, the "destroyer", who passed over the door of  the Israelites marked with the blood of the Passover lamb. 

Saint Michael
the Archangel

I have not heard of a Christian allegory for death. But when I think about the angel of death, what comes to mind is Saint Michael the Archangel; he who carries the souls of the deceased to heaven.

I learned from catechism that he is the angel who cried out "Quis ut Deus? (Latin for Who is like God?) when he smote the rebel Lucifer who in his pride desired to be God. In the Book of Revelation, Saint Michael leads God's armies against Satan and his cohorts. His primary role is chief and commander of the heavenly hosts who vanquished the devil, and as leader of the Army of God will achieve victory at the battle of Armageddon. (To know more about the victory of Saint Mi Cha El and the fall of Lucifer, watch this video Lucifer vs. St Michael: Why St Michael Won!) 

The Roman Catholic tradition holds him as the the protector and Guardian of the Church. He is the guardian angel of the Bishop of Rome, and the angel of the Blessed Sacrament.

Saint Michael, as the Christian angel of death, is the defender of souls. He is traditionally presumed to be present at a person's deathbed; he descends and gives each soul the chance to redeem itself before passing. He is charged not just to assist the dying, but also to accompany souls to bring them to purgatory, and afterwards present them to God. He weighs souls in his perfectly balanced scales on Judgement day, based on their deeds while living on earth. In the painting of the Last Judgement on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo depicted Saint Michael as reading the souls to be saved from the small book he held.

Archangel Michael saving souls from
Purgatory by Jacopo Vignali

In Saint Michael the Archangel, we have an angelic model for the virtues of a spiritual warrior. He exemplifies the victory of good over evil. As the Church Militant, we have to work out our salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), and pray for the grace to have forbearance and fortitude to become triumphant in the battle within ourselves. 

At the Mass held in Casa Santa Matha on October 30, 2014, Pope Francis said that "Life is a military endeavor. Christian life is a battle, a beautiful battle, because when God emerges victorious in every step of our life, this gives us joy, a great happiness."

Pope Francis also said that the devil is more than an idea. "In this generation, like so many others, people have been led to believe that the devil is a myth, a figure, an idea, the idea of evil. But the devil exists and we must fight against him."

There may be people who do not believe in a spiritual combat, let alone in the existence of angels and demons. But I always remember one homily given by the Exorcist of the Diocese of Cubao, Fr. Jojo Zerrudo, who said that the spiritual warfare for our souls between angels and demons is real ~ the celestial beings want to win souls for heaven, while the devils will exhaust all means to drag souls to hell for eternal damnation. 

Saint Michael depicted as
weighing souls

Death is inevitable for all of us; "through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned--" (Romans 5:12). "For the wages of sin is death..." (Romans 6:23). But I choose to view it as the key that shall open the door for Eternal Life. 

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, "death puts an end to human life as the time to open to either accepting or rejecting the Divine grace manifested in Christ. (CCC 1021). Death then is not the end. It opens the door to the afterlife ~ either in eternal joy in heaven, or unending torments in hell. "The New Testament speaks of judgment primarily in its aspect of the final encounter with Christ in His second coming, but also repeatedly affirms that each will be rewarded immediately after death in accordance with his works and faith. The parable of the poor man Lazarus and the words of Christ on the cross to the good thief, as well as other New Testament texts speak of a final destiny of the soul -- a destiny which can be different for some and for others. (CCC 1021) 

Since death is unavoidable and comes like a thief in the night, how do we prepare ourselves for it? How then do we combat evil and stand firm in the Faith till the end? 

All is God's grace. But we have to be mindful of our choices and actions, avoid sin, always do good as we ought, and obey the precepts of the Lord. We pray to have the virtue of humility, as pride was the cause of the downfall of Lucifer. 

Saint Michael of Good Children
by Simeon Solomon

To be in the state of grace, we can always have recourse to the benefits of the Sacraments, like go to frequent Confession and daily Mass to receive the Body of Jesus in the Eucharist. Prayer, too, is a great means of salvation and of perfection. "When one does not love prayer, it is morally impossible for him to resist his passions", Saint Alphonsus Maria de Liguori said. 

The Vicar of Christ pointed out that we have to be constantly on guard against the attacks of the devil. He reminds us to put on the full Armor of God : Truth as a belt around our waists, and Faith in God as a shield to defend ourselves against the wickedness of Satan.

We can also keep the devil at bay by doing works of Mercy. It does not have to be something grand, because anything done from the heart confounds Satan. He can win a battle of wits with us, but he always loses whenever we choose to serve our neighbors in sacrificial love. Saint Gregory the Great said that the proof of love is in the works. 

"No man has power to retain the spirit, or power over the day of death." (Ecc 8:8). Life is short, and heaven and hell is real. It would be a bonus if God would reveal to me when He shall bid me home. But I feel that I have yet to become like the humblest and glorious of His saints before He shall grant me that grace. 

The good does not fear death. Like Simeon, we can pray for a joyful death, saying to God, "Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you may now dismiss your servant in peace." ((St. Luke 2:29) How wonderful it would be to be able to say, just like Saint Paul did, "I have fought the good fight. I have finished the course. I have kept the faith." (2Timothy 4: 7).

Saint Michael (on the left) with the small book of the blessed souls.
The angel on the right holds the book of the damned.
(The Last Judgement, Michelangelo)

In the meantime, as we tread in the valley of tears, we can rest assured that as children of God, we get the extra assistance from His ministering angels. We are accompanied always in our earthly pilgrimage and can confidently rely in the special protection of Saint Michael the archangel. When he, the Angel of Death, comes, we may welcome him as one who shall take us home to see the face of our Almighty Father.  Pray with me, as I beseech his intercession:

"Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the malice and snares of the Devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God. thrust into hell Satan, and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen."

Do What You're Passionate About

In the morning when you wake up, have you ever felt like you wish you did not need to get up to go to work? And when you do get the courage to drag yourself out of bed, do you try to encourage yourself that you can make it through another day, after all, you'd survive?

I have felt that way in the past. There were days it felt like work was forced on me, but I had to do my best anyway because I was entrusted with something that needed to be accomplished. I did not want to disappoint anyone, especially myself. And besides, I didn't want the bills to start piling up. 

I have been working for almost two decades now. And I have had seven (7) different jobs so far. Looking back, I am grateful I got the opportunity to experience them all. I learned a lot along the way. Career-wise, I am sure the world will not applaud me. After all, in that long years in the work force, I am still far from being a board director or a CEO. Honestly, that has never been my goal. Power-driven people might express derision at my lack of drive for success, but that's not just the sort of "high" that will make me feel contented with life.

Of Rainbows, Cobblestones, and Saints

Everything passes... God alone suffices!
Saint Teresa's reminder on a wall at  Ávila

“Nada de turbe, 
nada te espante 
todo se pasa,
Dios no se muda, 
la paciencia todo lo alcanza, quien a Dios tiene nada le falta 
sólo Dios basta!” 
~Saint Teresa of Jesus

One of my most memorable pilgrimages was in 2011, on August 20th. I joined the Ministry of Youth Affairs of the Diocese of Cubao and was among the pilgrims to the XXVI World Youth Day held in Madrid, Spain. That Saturday morning was our "free time". The catechesis sessions and cultural programs ended the day before, and we were allowed to do as we pleased; but  of course we had to bear in mind that we were not there for pleasure. The only schedule ahead was the pilgrim walk to Cuatro Vientos for the vigil with the Pope, but it did not start until two in the afternoon. 

We opted to spend our morning at the UNESCO World Heritage City of Ávila, the walled town of Castilla y León. It was an hour and a half away from Madrid by train. On the way we were awed by the sites of the picturesque landscape, centuries-old stone ramparts, and views of turrets possibly of a medieval castle. It felt like a page from a fairy tale book coming alive before our eyes. 

Overlooking the charming town "outside the walls"

I did not have any expectations for that side-trip except that I wanted to learn more about Saint Teresa and her stunningly beautiful birthplace. But prior to that 3rd European sojourn, I came across a catechesis on the Doctors of the Church given by Pope Benedict XVI in one of his general audiences. The pope said that Saint Teresa lived on two principles: first, that everything in this world will one day pass away, and second, that God is eternal. Her poem Nada de Turbe sums it best: "Let nothing disturb you, Let nothing frighten you. All things are passing away; God never changes. Patience obtains all things. Whoever has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices."

Solo Dios basta! God alone suffices. I pondered on these words and reflected on what very little knowledge I had about the life of Saint Teresa. I prayed for the grace to grow deeper in my relationship with God and go home with reinvigorated Faith. 

"Even the lowly sparrow finds a home for her brood,
and the swallow, a nest for herself
where she may lay her young..."

Saint Teresa Sanchez de Cepeda y Ahumada was born on March 28, 1515. She was raised by well-to-do, pious parents, and as a little girl learned to read pious books. She was however not immune to the lures of the world. She underwent a stage in her life when she became idle, vain, and cold in her devotion. She found herself not having pleasure in prayer, and was discouraged by periods of spiritual aridity. She confessed to being disobedient and ungrateful to God. Sincerely repenting after realizing her sins, she resolved to persevere in her zeal towards the path to virtue and perfection. She loved the Lord with all the strength of her heart until she attained the grace of  transverberation, or mystical union with God. Her incorruptible heart is preserved in a reliquary in a Carmelite convent in Alba de Tormes. She said she owed her conversion to Saint Joseph and the Blessed Virgin Mary. She is an inspiration we can all imitate in fighting the good fight till the end, with our eyes fixed on Jesus who is the author and perfecter of faith. 

Saint Teresa lived a life in evangelical poverty, detached from the possessions that the world offered her, and was concerned primarily with her personal relationship and friendship with the Lord, which she expressed in her service and unconditional love for the Church, the body of Christ. In her I find an example of someone who acknowledged her trust and total dependence on Divine Providence. She reminded me of the primacy of seeking first the kingdom of God over the pursuit of wealth, prestige and power. 

Plaza de Santa Teresa, and Gate Alcazar

It was overwhelming to be there, and I later realized it was a major turning point in my life. I was not prepared to hear what God wanted me to do next. I have been serving in Church ministries for several years and somehow, deep inside, I knew sooner or later God would uproot me and plant me in another soil where I can grow more and bear much fruit for His Kingdom. I was not just expecting it anytime sooner.

I had my own plans. I was pressuring myself to accomplish all that I had set in my timetable. I am not actually the success-driven type, but I had goals I wanted fulfilled soon! Prior to the trip, I was deliberating on whether I should go back to school, have a career change, or do something radical with my life. But the Lord had His way! With my consent of course. God, in His unfathomable and unconditional love for me, did not force me to agree with what He wanted for me. He allowed me to make my own choices, and waited patiently until I willingly embraced His plans for me. It was quite a long process of discernment, but I wouldn't want it any other way because of the invaluable lessons I learned.

We visited a museum that kept the reliquary of one of her fingers. Displayed there are some manuscripts, her rosary, a sole of her sandals, among other precious relics, including that of her friend and confessor, Saint John of the Cross. A few feet from the museum was the Baroque-style Convent of Saint Teresa, built on the site of her birthplace. I marveled at the magnificent sculptures and paintings inside. In great awe at the wondrous gifts from God who made everything I saw there possible, I spent time on my knees in prayer. Saint Teresa, through her writings, emphasized that we must persevere in prayer. "God withholds Himself from no one who perseveres. He will by little and little strengthen that soul, so that it may come forth victorious", she said. But other than the graces we receive, prayer is our means of communication with God. It is indeed a blessing to know that I shall never ever be alone because I have Jesus who is not only my Savior and King, but also my greatest Friend!

With some of the pilgrims from the Diocese of Cubao

As I explored the cobblestone streets of the quaint town where Saint Teresa once walked on, I expressed my fears and uncertainties to God. I knew that He always knows and understands my innermost being, my thoughts and my desires, more than I ever can. I felt so unworthy and told Him I didn't feel equipped. But God lovingly assured me that He is going to be in control. I only have to trust Him fully.

There are only two things, if I'd ever ask for a sign, that I request the Lord to give me should I need a reassurance : a shooting star or a rainbow. That day in Avila, as I begged God to guide me in the next steps I am going to take, I gazed towards the heavens in fervent supplication. Lo and behold, a rainbow! With tears of joy, all I could whisper to God was Thank You and I love You! 

I thanked Saint Teresa, who I knew interceded for me, too! I imagined her telling me, in her own words, "Trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. Be content knowing you are a child of God."

I couldn't ask for anything more!

My Avila Rainbow
"My heart leaps up when I behold a rainbow in the sky..."

Peregrinação ao Santuário de Fátima : O Milagre do Sol

Today, October 13, marks the 97th anniversary of the Miracle of the Sun which occurred in Cova da Iria near Fátima, Portugal in 1917, as promised by Our Lady of the Rosary to Blessed Jacinta and Blessed Francisco Marto, and Sister Lúcia de Jesus dos Santos.  The event lasted about ten minutes, and was witnessed by 100,000 people. 

One of my favorite dramatizations about the apparitions in Fátima is The 13th Day, a movie that was based on the accounts of Sister Lucia.  I've seen it several times, and the story of the three seers still moves me; and I get a different inspiration and realization every time I watch it.

The first time I heard about the miracle, I prayed to be able to one day visit the pilgrimage site. And God did not disappoint. In His perfect time, He allowed me to visit Fátima.

The procession of the image of Our Lady of Fátima
before the Eucharistic Celebration (08.13.2011)

Below is a reflection I wrote three years ago, after that blessed visit to that sacred place:

A Visit to Our Lady of the Rosary 

What draws man to run to God? What makes him walk on his knees to plead for His mercy and goodness? What makes him surrender his entire life, hopes and dreams to Someone whom he has never seen? These questions suddenly flood my head as I arrive at Fátima , Portugal , seeing people both young and old, walking on their knees, deep in prayer. 

We arrived on a chilly Saturday morning in Fatima

You get that feeling of a warm welcome once you reach the square in front of the imposing Basilica, in honor of Our Lady of the Rosary. Being a Saturday, and the 13^th of the month as well, I knew that more people were coming that day. It was summer and yet it was unexpectedly cold when we arrived; and though we were all shivering, I felt soothing warmth deep within me. It was almost like coming home into the arms of a loved one I have not seen in years.

At first I found myself carried away by what the senses beheld. People from all walks of life were in a prayerful disposition. Conversations were almost in whispers. And the sights?! The camera could only but catch a particular frame, but it cannot really show the whole picture. I would have to rely on the gift of sharp memory to be able to always remember all that I saw and heard there. . I can still hear the echo of the bells ringing, signaling that the Eucharistic celebration was about to start. All the sounds were like music to my ears… That too, brought a sense of tranquility I cannot explain in words.

Instead of walking, pilgrims approach the
Chapel of the Apparitions on their knees

I did say my prayers of course. There were many people to pray for – family, loved ones, friends, relatives, acquaintances, people who need prayers the most, people who have no one to pray for them… and yes, even those people who wish me ill-will… who are jealous and envious of me … My enemies, if I may use that term. There were many intentions to pray about too -- mine and others’-- that needed to be brought to the foot of the Cross of Jesus through Mother Mary’s powerful intercession. It seemed that praying would never cease.

In the midst of the unavoidable little inconveniences, the language barrier, and the scorching midday heat, I asked myself those questions again. What draws man to call upon a Supreme Holy Being whom he has never seen? What moves him to tearful surrender to the Will of an omnipotent God? We all might initially answer that one prays to be relieved of the sufferings we all go through in our borrowed life here on earth. But is that what really makes us fall on our knees in supplication and trusting abandonment and surrender?

Blessed Jacinta and Blessed Francisco's 
final resting place inside the Basilica

The Fatima message is about repentance… about choosing to walk on the straight path of righteousness… about being obedient to the precepts of the Lord Almighty… about having child-like faith in our Almighty Triune God... and about the importance and power of prayer. But being there to witness the throngs of people with eyes lifted to heaven, I realized that there is a stronger power that draws us all to call upon the Holy Name of God, through the intercession of our Virgin Queen and Lady, Mother Mary. I struggled for a little while to get satisfying answers, but even before I finished my prayers, God reminded my heart. It may sound cliché, but my one answer to my own questions is Love. God made me remember, that the one answer to all the questions I’d ever ask will always have to be Love -- holy, agape Love.

Procession towards the altar for 
the Eucharistic celebration

Saint Thèrése of Lisieux said it best; “Jesus needs neither books nor Doctors of Divinity in order to instruct souls; He, the Doctor of Doctors, He teaches without noise of words.”  So all I had to do was look deep within my heart, remember how Jesus took all my sin and shame and died for Love of me. Saint Paul ’s letter to the Romans states this: “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

The throngs of pilgrims from all over the world 
who came for the Mass

Serenity enveloped my whole being. I wanted to cry. I wanted so much for God and Mother Mary to be there physically to embrace me in their arms. I wanted to sit on God the Father’s lap and whisper into His ears all my joys and pains, my dreams, my deepest longings… He alone knows what I have been through… about the things I had to sacrifice in order to stay firm in my Catholic Faith. He alone knows me, understands me, and never ever abandons me. God alone remains faithful and true. What my physical existence cannot achieve, I knew, with His grace and love, my soul was able to transcend into. And also, I only had to look at the people all around me and remember how deeply and wonderfully loved I am – and all of us, by a merciful and generous God. We are all therefore drawn to fall into our knees in prayer not only because we need to bring our supplications to God. We are all drawn to Him because we were all created in Love. “We love, because He first loved us.” (1Saint John 4:19)

Inside the Basilica of 
Our Lady of Fatima

His Word remains true: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” (Saint Matthew 6:33)  And so I prayed while I was there in Fatima , inside the basilica that Mother Mary asked to be built. Above all the other things necessary for my existence that concern me, I prayed for spiritual gifts and nourishment… I prayed to be able to know Him more… to love Him deeply and intimately… to be strong and firm in the Faith… and to be a living witness to this hurting world.

What happens after that? Prayer draws us all closer to God, the giver of all good gifts. But most importantly, prayer allows us to know more about His will for us… His grand plans for each of us… and allows us to abandon in total surrender all that concerns our earthly existence. 

I still have temporal needs of course. I still have urgent requests that I need miracles to. And I definitely still have these deep longings in my heart that I am begging God to grant to me. The amazing thing about my visit to  Fátima is achieving a deeper knowledge and love of God. And attaining that peace which He promised and He alone can give. From a human vantage point, the future may seem bleak. But seen with eyes of faith… eyes fixed on Jesus -- I am assured of a beautiful future full of only His best gifts and overflowing with His Love!

Some of the people who 
watched the solar miracle

Victor Hugo said that “Certain thoughts are prayers.  There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees."  I left  Fátima feeling that way; and with renewed strength and a deeper faith, I pray to be able to live the  Fátima message and share them with others. Share them in ‘actions’, and use words only when necessary. I cannot take credit for anything, for all things are God’s gifts to me. I pray for His grace to be at His bidding always… and to model my life in Mother Mary’s fiat: “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” (Saint Luke 1:38)

Santuário de Fátima